Kitchen Renovation, Day Thirty-Two

To paraphrase the late Victor von Frankenstein, “LIGHT! LIGHT! GIVE MY CREATION . . . . LIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!”

About 6:30 this morning I realized that I couldn’t pretend any longer that I’d go back to sleep and should just get up. Fifteen minutes later, as I was approaching the coffee maker to make the coffee, my phone started vibrating. It was the contractor. “Can the electrician come and work over there today?” When I’d asked yesterday, he assured me no one would be back until Monday. “Absolutely!” I replied. “That’s perfect!” ‘Cause, let’s get this thing done!

By 8 AM the nice electrician was all set up and starting to install lightswitches and outlets, and by 2:30 he was packing up to leave for the weekend. Now, finalmente, a moment I have long awaited: installation of ceiling fixtures.

As mentioned in the early days of this renovation, I had never liked the ceiling fan that came with the place, and over the last few years it had started wobbling dangerously on all but one setting. The new fan has a contained light, shorter but thicker blades, and a nice mid-century sleekness to it.

In the pantry, I had long dreamed of a Moravian star lantern. Long ago this year - so long ago that it might even have been before the coronavirus pandemic quarantine started in March - I ordered this (and the fan) from ye Ymyzonne*. Patiently they have waited in the cellar, like tulip bulbs waiting to be planted and blossom. And now at last, their time has come!

One more Moravian star waits to begin shining its light, this one in the hallway. The electrician had to abandon it because some elderly wiring needs to be replaced, a prudent delay.

No one will be working here on Sunday, but Monday I expect big doings with the installation of the appliances.

A dimmer switch for the lights! And an incomprehensible remote for the ceiling fan.

*I have been made aware that my disguising of the names of businesses or other entities to keep from having this personal blog pop up in internet searches is both annoying and lacking in clarity. To which I can only reply with the deathless words of William Hurt in The Big Chill, who so memorably said “Sometimes . . . you just have to let Art wash over you.”

Kitchen Renovation, Day Thirty-One

Today is the day this renovation officially rounded the turn into the home stretch. The countertops were installed.

The day actually began with the bearded member of the construction crew returning to lay the floor tile in the pantry. The stonemasons arrived at noon, exactly in the middle of their two-hour window of arrival. I showed them back to the kitchen, and before I knew it the smaller countertops were in place. It was like magic!

With adhesive still to dry on the pantry floor tile, the next countertop to go in was the sink. Whether they cut the hole for the faucet in the kitchen or back outside, I’ll never know. I did what I could to minimize the impact on the rest of the house, shutting the doors, rehanging the plastic that remained by one of them, and shutting of the central a/c. As it happened, the Bearded One chose that exact time to start replacing the thresholds on those doorways. Of course that required at least one of those doors to be open. With a silica-like odor in the air, I just threw up my hands and retreated to the garden with a new book, Washington’s End: The Final Years and Forgotten Struggle by Jonathan Horn.

The stonemasons installed the sink, too, and after that were finally able to get into the pantry. As mentioned way back, the pantry countertop had to be seamed because it’s a wall-to-wall countertop in a narrow room, and with a long ell down one side. The stonemasons did a superb job; the seam is hardly noticeable! They warned me not to put anything on it for 24 hours while it sets.

The stone, Eternal Noir Suede, looks exactly as I’d hoped it would. Originally I had wanted the black stone only in the pantry and a white granite in the kitchen, but that would have cost a ridiculous amount of money extra. Now, with the black counters in the kitchen, I find I really do add a nice contrast.

With the stonemasons’ departure, the Bearded One remained to continue working on under-cabinet baseboard in the pantry and the kitchen. Throughout all this, it was extremely difficult for me to concentrate on other things.

To give you an idea of what’s to come.

So Saturday I can start filling the pantry, Monday appliances will be installed, and Wednesday the dishwasher delivered. With its installation next Thursday, “principal photography” will be done! Then I can begin “retakes,” which really means hanging curtains, pictures, Fiestaware, etc.; filling cabinets and drawers, and stocking the refrigerator.

Thursday Afternoon, September 10 - Diana Rigg

1) Diana Rigg has died after a rich full life. Perhaps her most important film was one of her first, A Midsummer Night’s Dream in 1968. I’ll never forget seeing the film at Interlochen my junior year, and especially this monologue:

1a) Mercy, looking at her IMDB page I barely recognize a title. And I had no idea she was on that show about a throne . . .

1b) Perhaps she is the Diana Wynyard of her generation?

2) Later I acquired her wonderful collection of mean theatre criticism, No Turn Unstoned, absolutely invaluable to those who love 20th-century theatre.

3) I’ve already posted in this space someone’s tribute video to Mrs. Peel of Cake’s “Short Skirt, Long Jacket,” but also seems appropriate to repost today.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-Nine

Today’s theme is tension headache. Actually, it’s the kind of headache that begins at the bottom of the shoulder blades and works up. It’s not a migraine - so thank God for small favors - but I haven’t had one for awhile, and it sucks.

This morning I expected the contractor to show up about 8 AM with someone to finish laying the floor tile, now that the final box has arrived. So I was sure to be up early, tension headache and all, because you know how I am about being late. I hardly needed my second cup of coffee after sighting six turkeys (!) in my garden. The presence of Real Live Turkeys on the property of course made me think of Daffy Duck’s Holiday for Drumsticks.

The contractor called about 8:15 with the news that he’d be over in “about an hour” after a COVID test, bringing with him backsplash tile samples. That at least gave me a chance to shower without fear that he’d show up while I was in the shower. One of the best home remedies for a tension headache that doesn’t involve medicine is standing under a vibrating shower head for as long as you want. (But I also popped a couple aspirin tablets.)

It’s always a pleasure to talk with the contractor, even on the rare occasions when we don’t agree. It felt like a victory to hear him acknowledge that the colored ceilings came out better than he’d thought.

The tile situation got sorted out quickly. Small, white subway tile with a glossy finish behind all the counters, with bulnoses where they belong. He did show me some larger tile that I didn’t think would work, but the reason he offered them was he had three boxes at home. You’ll see above that, in spite of my efforts, I’m ending up with my Philip Marlowe “The white made the ivory look dirty and the ivory made the white look bled out” Situation after all, but it will all look better after some sleep.

The contractor ll return tomorrow morning with the backsplash tile, the faucet for the kitchen sink, and the garbage disposal. Friday the guy will come to lay the floor tile - presumably at a time when the countertops are not being installed. (The countertop company will call Thursday to confirm the exact time they’re coming.) Monday the appliances will be installed and the electrician will install the light fixtures and switches and outlets and whatnot. But that day, alas, will not be the end of the construction phase of the renovation.

After the contractor left, I called the local appliance store from which I’d been able to order my make/model of dishwasher, which I was told would arrive last week. Now that the charge has gone through, I’m getting the Service With a Snarl version of small business in America. “Oh yeah, those are arriving here next Wednesday, so we’ll have it delivered on Thursday.” Frankly, I am not a state today to argue about it.

Back to bed!

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-Seven

Sweet mercy goodness, if today is day 27, then tomorrow is the end of week four. And I said it would be five weeks . . . and that looks realistic! Thank goodness, too, ‘cause I’ve finally run out of disposable coffee cups . . .

The painters returned this morning at 8 AM, properly masked, to finish up the kitchen. I left for a very long walk in the cemetery about half an hour later, just to be prudent. And it was a beautiful morning; I’m glad I went.

These two photos show the one corner where you can see the cabinetry, woodwork, wall, and ceiling at once. One photo is with the lights on, the other off. The ceiling actually lends a warm tone to the walls there!

With workmen in the house, it really is not easy to concentrate on anything else. When I returned I actually just got back into bed! It was the only thing I felt I could do. But at 12:22 I heard them call me into the kitchen. Imagine my surprise when they told me they were all done! Somehow I had expected them to be there until 4 PM, like on Saturday.

The work looks good, and Moonlight White looks like the right choice after all for the walls and woodwork. One of the pictures below was taken with the lights off, the other on. Under the cabinets the backsplash will go, so they didn’t paint there.

No crew here tomorrow, so the next important event is getting that new box of tile here tomorrow so it can be laid on Wednesday. The tracking link from ye Fydyxe indicates that it’s at their local distribution facility already and should be delivered by 8 PM tomorrow evening.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-Six

I’ve talked about the Howard Johnson’s part of “Howard Johnson’s at Versailles,” but not about the Versailles part. And as I think about it, I realize I have no clear memory of when mashing up those two contradictory things came to mind! “Lost in the mists of Time” at this point.

But really, when you think of Versailles, what do you think of? Gilding, mirrors, and Marie Antoinette. And therefore cake. And perhaps also Louis XIV, and therefore Big Hair. I have always loved Marie Antoinette, even before I found Madame Campan’s memoirs at Boston Book Annex in my sophomore year of college, and then Stefan Zweig’s Freudian biography of her, Marie Antoinette: The Portrait of an Average Woman. Even Mary, Queen of Scots, who I first read about in third grade, takes second place.

So visiting Versailles and the Petit Trianon was a priority when I first went to Paris in 2008. A room I’d never heard of deeply impressed me: the chapel of the Petit Trianon. White and black, with a dash of red. This became my inspiration for the pantry (even though the pantry will look nothing like it).

Many people will be shocked by this, but I rejected the idea of any gilding right off the bat. White and gold might be a very Versailles combination, but in America it was also every suburban girl’s bedroom in the mid-century. I didn’t want a Veda Pierce Distinctly Middle Class kitchen at all.

I’d also thought about lining the back wall with floor-to-ceiling panels of mirrors, including a sliding panel that would obscure the pantry and backstairs doors. That, no surprise, would have been impractical. I am still toying with the idea of placing a mirror someplace.

There is also The Urn, which has been languishing down in the cellar for a long time now and needs to be brought back out. About 30 years ago, when Daddy was serving on the board of one of the local hospitals, he would get a ridiculously elaborate-looking gift for Christmas. The first year it was an over-the-top porcelain urn, over two feet tall and encrusted with porcelain flowers and cupids and whatnot. It was not like anything either of my parents would have chosen for themselves! The whole thing made me laugh like a drain, which is undoubtedly why I begged for it to put on top of the toilet in my Beacon Street basement apartment. And there it stayed, and it had a place of honor in the bathroom on Columbus Avenue, too. It’s time to bring it out again.

That leaves how to include the Queen, besides my sweet Marie Antoinette action figure with head-popping action my friends gave me for my birthday in 2009. Oddly enough, that journey detours through Provincetown. In August, 2019, I acquired this handsome gentleman from a Provincetown art gallery.

Pastelitos shows a handsome young man on a palm-lined beach offering a basket of traditional Cuban pastries. Handsome young man + carbohydrates = marry me! And notice the blue and orange color scheme, and how well it would complement Fiestaware.

The artist, Kurt Walters, has created an ongoing Dessert Series of paintings, all of people offering desserts from their culinary traditions. He’s not only a talented artist with a fabulous sense of whimsy, but also an engaging raconteur. Happily, I was able to persuade him to create for me an addition to this series, of Marie Antoinette with a cake.

So the two of them will make an unlikely pairing in the kitchen . . . but then, that’s part of why I find it so delightful. As noted before, I am seized with flights of fancy so obscure that only I can appreciate them. ;-)

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-Five

The painters arrived this morning at 8 AM to work their magic. The contractor came along to show them the ropes, and then skedaddled, no doubt to another job. (I have provided three referrals to him, but he said they’re very busy right now.) They had to open the doors to the rest of the house, and I have had to remind them once to keep their masks on. I totally understand that it’s uncomfortable and an inconvenience, but it’s a risk to their health and mine if air is recirculating throughout the house.

But I’ve noticed a genuine reluctance to wear masks among various members of the crew, and delivery men. This is most often displayed by wearing masks below the nose, or below the chin. And it’s one thing if the doors to the rest of the house are sealed off, but quite another when they’re wide open and I’m home, too.

They left shortly after 4 PM and will be back on Monday, Labor Day, to finish. The good news is: the work they did looks good on ceilings and woodwork. I also like how the colors looks. Up at the top of this post you can see a kitchen corner with the Sweet Orange ceiling, Moonlight White window frame, and white cabinetry. (The walls have not yet been painted.) The orange is a bit yellower than I thought - quite like a squash blossom - but it works, and that’s what counts. In the pantry, the Onyx woodwork matches the black cabinetry quite well, and the Exotic Red ceiling and Moonlight White walls blend as I wanted them to.

Hmm, there are a few little bits of painting they are going to have to smooth out! That smudgy bit by the window frame is not a paint smudge, but painter’s tape.

The bad news is: a bad booboo on a pantry cabinet door. A couple white paint spots on black woodwork . . . aww, that can come off. Painting outside the lines can be fixed. But that booboo can’t be masked in any way that I can see.

Magnified for effect. You can imagine the effect it had on me!

In other news, I did a lot of online shopping today for kitchen things, including drawer pulls and door handles. Nothing very satisfactory came up when I searched for “Fiestaware knob,” but I still found something thematic.

Next week, Monday finishes the painting, Wednesday finishes the flooring, and Friday features the counter installation. After that, the appliances and light fixtures can be installed and . . . and . . . and perhaps I can be cooking in the kitchen by September 15 after all!

Moonlight White door and woodwork, only primer on the walls still.

The Films of Elspeth Dudgeon

Yes, that’s her real name.

One of the joys of the Yewtybbe for me is recognizing faces from one film to another. I can be watching, say, I Wake Up Screaming, see Lady Handel at her nightclub table greeting Victor Mature and Carol Landis, and say “Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that . . . “ and of course it turns out she was the housekeeper in Little Lord Fauntleroy and Mrs. Phillips in the 1940 Pride and Prejudice, not to mention the old lady who says “Who locked that door?!” in the powder room of the Casino Roof in The Women. And that would be Mae Beatty.

I lead a rich, full life!

A favorite Old Hollywood Classic to view on the Yewytybbe is the 1935 Becky Sharp, starring that naughty Miriam Hopkins. At the very beginning of the film we see Becky’s schoolmistress MIss Pinkerton, a very stern old lady with a face like a tombstone. Then watching Now, Voyager, I got a look at Bette Davis’s Aunt Hester (a non-speaking role in only two scenes). “Hey, isn’t that Miss Pinkerton?” And a trip to ye IMDB revealed that yes, yes it was Miss Pinkerton — the character actress Elspeth Dudgeon. So for no reason at all, I am creating this page to collect in one place her film performances.

Elspeth barely appears in Becky Sharp at all - after the first five minutes she’s out for good - but this was one of the first Technicolor films to come out of Hollywood, and it has a great ensemble cast: Alan Mowbray, Frances Dee, Nigel Bruce (I love Nigel Bruce), and, as Pitt Crawley, the same actor who plays the preacher reading the 23rd Psalm in the besieged Atlanta church hospital in Gone With the Wind.

In Camille with Greta Garbo, Elspeth is the matron attending the ladies room at the casino. Her scene begins at 01:26:23, but really, don’t skip the rest of the movie! Greta Garbo at her greatest, Robert Taylor at his most beautiful, Henry Daniell at his most reptilian, my beloved Laura Hope Crews (Aunt Pittypat from GWTW), and a vivacious actress we almost never see, Lenore Ulric, who plays Greta Garbo’s rival Olympe. About ten years later she had a small part in Alfred Hitchcock’s Notorious, when she says to Cary Grant “Young men have such short memories!”

In The Moonstone of 1934 Elspeth has an actual part that goes on through the entire movie, as the querelous but loyal housekeeper Mrs. Betteredge. This is sort of a horror/mystery/comedy mashup based on the famous mystery by Wilkie Collins. It centers on a very large yellow diamond called the Moonstone that was stolen from an Indian temple by an Englishman and left to his niece. Ridiculousness ensues, but also exceedingly handsome David Manners, so it’s worth it.

Finally, something I just discovered night before last, Sh! The Octopus. Hugh Herbert (“Woo hoo! Woo hoo!”) is one of the stars, and I’m sorry, I’m just not a Hugh Herbert fan. A group of strangers are trapped in a lighthouse and besieged by a gigantic octopus and fear of a burglar named The Octopus who is trying to steal the radium ray invented by a young woman’s stepfather. “Whoever controls that ray controls the world!” Elspeth appears as Nanny, and if you thought she had a face like a tombstone to begin with, you will be amazed out of your wits at the transformation she undergoes at the end of the film - into someone’s mother-in-law!

Thanks for your indulgence.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-Two

PART ONE

I was in the bathroom this morning the contractor texted “Be there in ten minutes.” Surprise! I knew he was dropping by, but not so early. This was only the second or third time he’s been on site, due to travel and quarantine issues. We have a good rapport, and I was looking forward to seeing him.

He seemed pleased. “I hadn’t known how those floors would turn out,” he said in his Actual-Irish-Not-Southie-Irish accent, because that brand of tile was new to them. He looked approvingly at the woodwork and the cabinetry (his partner spent a whole day on it, “it was a pain in the @$$,” he said), and clamored for the countertops to be installed.

On the spot the contractor telephoned the painter to come this weekend. “Well,” he said to him, “the colors are gonna be a little of what you’d call funky,” meaning my ceilings. All that remains is to replace the wooden thresholds of two doors, install the appliances (which can’t be done until the countertops are installed), install the ceiling fan and the pantry light, complete the electrical outlets, finish laying the pantry floor when the next box of tiles comes (next week Tuesday!), screw on the cabinet hardware, position all the cabinet shelves, and dust. Then all I’ll have to do is put in the curtain rods and curtains, move in the furniture, fill all the cabinets, hang the pictures, and raise a toast to the successful completion of the renovation.

PART TWO

Finalmente, the arrival of the appliances! An event worthy of its own soundtrack, but the circumstances could have been more auspicious. The driver called during my 1 PM Zoom meeting to let me know he was half an hour away (a risk I took, scheduling a Zoom meeting during the delivery window) and had difficulty hearing me. (“I SAID, I WILL BE READY WHEN YOU ARRIVE IN TWENTY-FIVE TO THIRTY MINUTES!”) They arrived in the rain and couldn’t park immediately in front of the house. I had to tell the driver twice to cover his nose with his mask.

They were real pros about measuring all the doorways in advance and unscrewing the automatic spring bar thingy at the top of the screen door. The one disagreement we had was about unboxing. Ye Heaumeau Depeau makes it abundantly clear in their documents that there are no returns/refunds of major appliances, and that they needed to be unboxed to be inspected by the customer to be sure they were in good condition (e.g. no dings, nicks, or dents). Three out of four were wrapped in shrink wrap, and I was comfortable inspecting them thus. The stove was in an actual box, but he refused to unbox it inside. That meant unboxing and inspecting streetside. Not an ideal outcome with the rain . . . who knows, I may end up repenting my light blue floor at leisure, LOL!

The goods are here, in good condition, and that’s the most important part. I was also expecting the dishwasher, from another vendor, but it has yet to show up . . .

PART THREE

Afterthat, I returned a voicemail from the company doing the countertops to schedule their installation. The good news is, September 11 is the day! That will be Day 31, just a couple days after the contractor’s original estimate of four weeks. No complaints from me!

The bad news is a brewing disagreement about how it’s done. When countertops are installed, it’s typical for holes to be cut in them on site for the positioning of faucets and things like that. Earlier this week one of the workmen told me “Don’t let them do it inside! Make them take it outside because of all that silica dust. It’s bad for you!” When I mentioned this to the Nice Young Lady handling the scheduling, she said “Well, they don’t usually do that, but I’ll tell them you mentioned it. There’s always a second person vacuuming right there as the cutting is taking place.” When I mentioned it during pre-meeting chatter before my second Zoom meeting*, someone told me that they, too, had used this company, and that there was dust everywhere and just send them outside.

As Joan Fontaine so accurately observed in The Women (1939), “You know Mary hates situations!”

*It’s been a very busy day here! I get to start using my appointment book again!

Kitchen Renovation, Day Twenty-One

The end of today marks three full weeks of kitchen renovation . . . and the work is still moving swiftly.

Today the floors were laid. I was wrong. There were not enough tiles to tile the pantry completely. So I had to rush order an additional box, which I hope will arrive by Thursday.

I do rather like how they look though. Bold! but also severe.

And I really do like this shade of blue. The crew asked how I wanted them laid out this morning, and I really preferred the grid style rather than staggered like bricks. This can remind me of the Armstrong tile floors at the old Dimmick Supply stores and Doyle’s without actually being Armstrong tile.

The plastic has now come down off the interior doors, so in theory I can wander in and out. But I prefer to keep a well-ventilated distance, as I can’t be sure they’re wearing masks when I’m out of view.

With the plastic down that also means dust, and I’m already seeing it on the new tile. Nothing a quick visit with a Swiffer can’t fix . . . I hope.

With arrival of appliances tomorrow, the contractor has expressed some concern about protecting the floors, and I agree. I sure don’t want to see any dents! But it will be a relief to have them all in house, and the old appliances carted away.

Tuesday Morning, September 1

1) August has come to an end. The time of Queen Anne’s Lace is over. This year my favorite month included a much quieter than usual week in Provincetown, Hurricane Laura blasting through the Old Hometown, and of course renovation of the kitchen (ending its third week today). I continue to be grateful that no one I know was killed or injured by the hurricane, and that so very many people have strongly-held opinions about shades of white paint.

1a) I was reflecting at one point last week that I miss my life with people.

2) Massachusetts holds its primary today (in which over 900,000 have already voted), and I was fifth in line at my polling place when I arrived four minutes before the polls opened. They moved the polling place to a larger space at the high school, which has a different entrance. After I’d completed my ballot, I was asked very respectfully to slip it into a manila envelope with a poll worker since they were having trouble with one of their machines. I trust the poll workers at my polling place - we are familiar to each other after all these years, if not on a first-name basis - but I can imagine people having issues with that procedure if they didn’t. I can’t imagine that temporary solution flying too well on Election Day in November.

3) The workmen have returned to lay the floor tiles today (I’m sure at the end of the day I’ll do another kitchen reno entry), and I’ve already been asked back to a) verify how the tiles should be laid out, b) reassure them that there were enough tiles for the pantry (different pattern, and a larger size tile), and c) how to resolve where the two different tiles connect at the pantry entrance since the tiles aren’t the same size (I don’t really care, but if it’s truly awful we’ll add a threshold).

Kitchen Renovation, Day Nineteen

“The late Mr. Dimmick was frequently seized with fits of whimsy so obscure that only he could truly appreciate them.” — from a prospective fauxbituary

“So Robert,” you might be asking, “just what is all this ‘Howard Johnson’s at Versailles’ nonsense?” And after seeing all the commentary and concern (concern!) about an apparently white-on-white kitchen, I see I am going to have to share more of my inspiration to convince people that, yes, I’m crazy, but not crazy in the way you think I’m crazy.

First stop: J.B. West’s Upstairs at the White House, and his conversation with Jackie Kennedy on page 199 about the new kitchen for the second floor. Asked whether she wanted to see a kitchen designer, Jackie laughingly replied “Heavens no! . . . Just make it white and ask René [Verdon] what he wants in there.” You’re not going to argue with Jackie, now, are you? Because you know what Mr. West said about her: “The trick was to read her correctly, to accomplish everything she wanted, and not to oppose her in anything.”

Truly I know only the very best people - that’s you! - for whom I am always grateful. Yesterday it was evidenced by a lot of good advice about how to evaluate paint colors: getting large paper paint chips, actually painting the different whites on the wall to evaluate, looking at the colors at different times of day, etc. My English friends expressed concern that any specifc shade of white might fade to something else, and that I’d still end up with my Philip Marlowe observation anyway.

And my goodness, such spirited advocacy for specific shades! White Dove was definitely the winner here, and even recommended by one friend especially for rooms with western exposure. (The kitchen has a west-northwest exposure.) The volume of opinions about white paint really took me by surprise.

A mid-century Howard Johnson’s greeting card.

But mostly what I noticed was an undercurrent of concern about all that white. Won’t you need sunglasses, Robert? Why not think about painting the walls a complementary color? That’s a valid question. The complementary colors won’t be on the walls, but on the floor and ceiling. The Howard Johnson’s palette is white, turquoise, and orange. Originally I’d thought of using this Assault Orange vinyl flooring - wouldn’t that set off my gramma’s teal Leatherette chairs! - and painting the ceiling turquoise, but I was sort of talked out of that because a) it’s a small room, really, and b) just no. No! So the floor will actually be pale blue vinyl tile* from a company recommended by my English friends, and the ceiling will be a pale orange that’s still bold enough not to be mistaken for beige.

The white of those walls will also be studded with Gramma’s Fiestaware, some of which was displayed in the old kitchen over the stove. The original Fiestaware palette is a bold one: yellow, green, sky blue, navy blue, cream, and my beloved radioactive orange actually made with uranium oxide.

Not actually my Fiestaware, which has definitely seen better days.

I haven’t talked a lot about furniture here (some very patient friends have heard it more than once!), but everything in the room will be mid-century. Besides Gramma’s teal Leatherette chairs and the glass magazine table between them to make my Cozy Nook, the maple desk from Gramma’s dining room will go between the windows for the coffee station**. In the end “Howard Johnson’s” was a handy catch-call for the mid-century stuff I have plus my love of garish color. Perhaps another time I’ll go into the “Versailles” part.

It also occured to me this morning that all that white will actually make a good contrast with the Red Room Bedroom. With its bordello-red walls, midnight blue ceiling, and one of my grandmother’s dark carpets on the floor, it’s a dark little cave in which to hibernate. These two rooms will be as different as night and day, and I rather like the idea of that contrast. Maybe I’ll need less coffee in the morning . . .

Note also the Franciscan Starburst, which will also feature in the new kitchen.

And if, once it’s all done, I find I really cannot abide all that white, I’ll just rename it the Varykino Room.

Varykino!

*Yes, I tested it for scuff marks at the insistence of friends, with my furlane, the ones that have recycled bicycle tires for soles. It passed the test.

**I made sure to request an electrical outlet just above the height of the desk for the coffeemaker.

Saturday Night, August 29

1) I’ve been following the Royal Collection on Instagram. Ever since they posted this photo of Queen Caroline’s ewer, I’ve been mad to own a peridot, the apple-green stone on top. I first learned about them years ago reading Jewels by Victoria Finlay, a trip through the Mohs hardness scale.

1a) The Queen Caroline in question was Caroline of Ansbach, the wife of George II.

2) Superstorm Sandy in 2012 was the occasion my first toothache, an experience of such excruciating pain that I am never without a vial of oil of cloves. I think of that now as I fear another toothache might be in the works . . .

2a) Oil of cloves is an unsurpassed remedy for toothache, which I learned about from Agatha Christie’s novel Murder on the Orient Express.

3) Oddly it’s turned into a Stewart Granger Festival here this evening, as I just finished Scaramouche and have begun Blanche Fury, so little known and so fascinating.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Eighteen

With no crew in today, I had the opportunity to be inside the kitchen and make some decisions about paint. As Joan Crawford so memorably said on Night Gallery, “I want to see something . . . COLOR!”

It hit me, seeing all those white cabinets installed, that I was going to need to match the wall color to the cabinets. A few friends suggested that really wouldn’t be a problem, but I just can’t help remembering a bit from Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep (the novel, not the beloved film version with Bogart and Bacall), when detective Philip Marlowe is assessing the décor in Vivian Regan’s boudoir: “. . . the enormous ivory drapes lay tumbled on the white carpet a yard from the windows. The white made the ivory look dirty and the ivory made the white look bled out.” I don’t want everything looking tuppence-ha’penny now, do I?

So this afternoon I moved into the kitchen with a small sheaf of paint samples, a paper cup of strong tea, a roll of Scotch tape, and Young Victoria for audio/visual wallpaper, and taped those paint samples to the inside of a cabinet door. This tends to be my method. Way back in 2016, the Final Roommate and I chose the dining room color by laying out paint samples on a large oil painting of a riverscape.

2016: dining room painting progress. The Final Roommate was a very talented interior painter.

I was not too excited about having to choose between two dozen shades of white, but the names they come up with are a delightful distraction. Minced Onion, Moonlight White, White Dove, Dove Wing, Mayonnaise, Mountain Peak White, Cotton Balls, Bavarian Cream . . . and on and on.

Not all the paint samples I looked at are visible here. As I began taping yet another to the door, suddenly I recoiled in horror. They were BEIGE! And after 19 years of mandatory beige in seven rental apartments (with and without roommates), I resolved to myself that there would be no more beige! So those got taken down and rejected right away.

Right now it’s a tossup between Cotton Balls (third column, second one down, which I had actually chosen) and Moonlight White (bottom of first column, which in the photo actually looks like it might be a closer match). AIGH!

I will use the same color for the walls in the pantry, but the window frame in there is so prominent that it will have to be black to match the cabinetry in there. After a similar process with far fewer choices, I selected Onyx.

In other news, I was able to take advantage of this weekend’s tax-exempt celebration and support local business by purchasing the exact same make and model of dishwasher ye Heaumeau Depeau had on back order from the little appliance store right on Centre Street . . . and they can deliver on Wednesday! And that is the day ye Heaumeau Depeau is delivering all the others! So let’s hear it for the little guy!

I also selected and bought severely simple curtains and rods online. That one corner by the washer dryer is going to be tricky, though, because already the cabinet door on the left can’t open all the way.

How on earth am I going to accommodate a curtain rod in that angle?

Kitchen Renovation, Day Seventeen

Maison Robaire was the first appointment on the stonemason’s schedule, which was great. About an hour beforehand, I went back and opened all the windows to air out as much as possible. When the robocall came that he would be arriving in 30 minutes, I set my timer for 25 minutes. When the timer went off, I poured a fresh cup of coffee, stepped outside, and he was just pulling up in front of the house. Truly, punctuality is the politeness of kings!

After the COVID courtesies - “Has anyone been coughing or exhibiting symptoms?” “No, everyone has been healthy.” - we got down to it. I was sure it was a simple matter of measurements.

There are three areas for countertops:

PANTRY: The pantry counter is going to have to be seamed because the room is so narrow, the countertop will be wall to wall, and there’s a long ell on one side. Apparently because it’s quartz, the corners have to be rounded, something I hadn’t even thought about. But I’m not anxious about any of that.

SINK: Very simple, just a flat rectangle with a hole for the undermounted sink. A friend suggested I ask for the sink cutout to use as a cutting board. I did. They don’t do that. And that’s OK; I have cutting boards.

STOVE: “Here,” as someone said in one of those Monty Python sketches, “is where my theory falls to the ground.” This isn’t one continuous countertop, but two small pieces on either side of the stove. One is a narrow rectangle, the other is a unique shape to go over a triangular-ish cabinet. Now, you know that the appliances are not here yet (even though they were supposed to be) and that they are now going to arrive next Wednesday. The extensive pre-checklist I got from the stonemason indicated that appliances must be on site. The contractor said he had never heard of such a thing before, and of course I wasn’t going to say anything - I want this job done! But it did make me anxious. 

Turning last to this section, the stonemason asked to see a photo of the stove, which involved me going to the front of the house to get my laptop. While there I heard this beeping start to come from the kitchen. When I returned, the stonemason had set up some sort of machine on a large metal tripod about three feet high. And the machine was beeping urgently.

“Do you have a working outlet in this room?” 

“Um, no. But we can use the bathroom outlet. Let me go around and take the plastic off the hall door.” 

More urgent beeping. Me running to the front of the house, ripping down the dusty-gritty plastic, throwing open the door to be handed the machine’s cord. It wasn’t long enough to reach the outlet. “Wait!” I said. “I have a three-prong industrial strength extension cord!” And after some panicked fiddling with the cord for either the hot plate or the convection oven, because I could not find the third (which I now realize is with the mini-fridge), we got that damn machine connected to some power, and it stopped beeping.

The stonemason’s gear, all packed up and ready to go.

Then I could show him the picture of the stove. “Ohhhh, I’m going to have to see some specifications for this.” Printing is an involved process here now, because for some reason the printer . . . oh hell, I don’t know, it just won’t print from the laptop*. But it will if I stick a thumb drive in the printer, so after a bit of finagling, I got him what he needed.

And my education continued. The stonemason took a look at what I’d given him and said “I’m just not sure how this stove is going to work.” So of course I had to ask what he meant, since all it has to do to “work” is fit in the space and be exactly 30 inches wide. Right? Is that not exactly right? Turns out the correct answer to that question is No, it is not exactly right. The 30 inches wide part is right. But the two counters don’t both meet the stove at a flat angle, plus some stoves are (or are not) made with a “lip” or something so that stove and counter meet more tightly. (I hope I’m remembering this correctly. I don’t think I’m explaining this very well.) And then he needed to factor in the overhang, too. But he explained better than I am reporting it, and he seems to have a solution. So all that’s fine.

The one remaining oddity is that the far left end of that counter will overlap with the door frame, which means notching the countertop or something three-eighths of an inch to accommodate. 

Here’s where the notch will be in the countertop.

While he did what he had to do with that machine, I adjourned to the back porch to read the news. When he was all done, he reviewed everything with me again (“Yes, yes, mmhmm, I understand, yes”), and asked about what kind of finish I wanted. “Umm . . . smooth?” This turned out not to be the correct answer. He was asking about how I wanted to edges of the counters finished, not the surface. He said a lot of words, and I chose the first option, which had “pencil” in the name. He said that was best, and the other choices were old-fashioned.

He was very nice, the stonemason, and I have a greater appreciation of what the drama teacher in Stage Fright called “an old and very beautiful art.” It was a pleasure to work with him.

After he left, and with plastic off one door into the kitchen, I went through to the front of the house, started to walk back into the kitchen, and suddenly realized “This is what it’s going to feel like when it’s all done!” Being able to enter the room from its entrance and not from the back porch, I had this pleasant taste of what my new daily life is going to be like. And I like it!

*Rant. You know, so many people - like everyone else in the world but me - have technology that works. You just press Command-P, and then Enter, and poof! A document is printed on your printer. Simple! And my beautiful printer used to work like that. And I have no blesséd idea why it doesn’t any more, whether it needs to be rebooted or restarted or reconfigured or reassembled or what. Or, more importantly, why it should need that when I haven’t done anything to it. Thank goodness a dear friend guided me to the solution of using the printer’s USB port, which will do in a pinch. But honestly, this should not be so incomprehensible. End rant.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Sixteen

This morning i was up early - anxiety about the aftermath of Hurricane Laura - but I was so wrapped up in the news that I didn’t go out back to greet the crew at 7 AM. But I could hear them getting started. This was to be the final day of the cabinet installation.

I ended up going back at midday, and they had done great work on the cabinets, as you’ll see in the slideshow below. But the door and window frames had not yet been completed.

A bit after 5 PM the doorbell rang, the contractor’s partner summoning me back to take a look at the completed work. I was delighted. And then I asked myself “Why is it so bright in here?” They had also installed the recessed ceiling lights! (Probably they had done that yesterday.) Someone is going to have to teach me how to change the bulbs.

New window and door frames look great!

A house is not a home without rubber bands hanging from a doorknob.

The one sort of mash-up element is the cabinet over the washer dryer. So many angles, but I don’t really care. And just as a reminder, yes, I do know the washer dryer will project into the window frame, and I don’t care.

I can always hang something from the angle, like Louis XIV’s wig or something.

The crew carted away most of their stuff and swept up everything extremely well. The stonemason had sent over quite a checklist in advance, including the item “no evidence of other trades,” which meant “get everyone else and their stuff right out of there so they aren’t in our way.” Unfortunately I will have to meet with the stonemason alone, but at least he’s coming early!

The stove elevation.

It occurred to me today that when I get to move back into the kitchen, nothing is necessarily going back in the place it was before. Aside from the fact that there’s cabinets in more locations than hitherto, things are not the same size. I noticed that the drawer unit by the sink is narrower than the drawers in my old kitchen, which means that my silverware caddy likely won’t fit. Little things like that will make a difference.

Sink elevation.

You can’t really see how happy I am with my mask on, but I assure you, I am wearing a big smile under my mask!

Kitchen Renovation, Day Fifteen

This is actually being written on Day Sixteen, August 27, the day after Hurricane Laura swept through my hometown. Continuing to document this home improvement is a way to keep myself together.

Tuesday afternoon (Day 14) was an opportunity to reflect on leadership, and how often leadership means being pulled away from what you need to be working on to bring full, sincere attention to an incomprehensible situation that is very important to someone else (and, of course, also to you) and also to styles of communication that demand full concentration. And I thought, “Thank God I’m not running for President!”

In the hour before I had to leave for my program, I planned and wanted nothing more than to review my script for timing and phrasing. Instead, in that one hour I was interrupted by the doorbell no fewer than three times to go back to the kitchen for something or other. Once was to point out damage to a piece of cabinetry, which had arrived that way from the maker. It will be concealed by doors, but they were shocked that I just didn’t care that much. (You must remember that I was focused on my program that evening, and working on my script.)

The cabinet is above the washer/dryer. The crack will be covered by the door, of course.

Another had to do with confirming whether a panel was actually the correct size, and I was very impressed with myself at being able to answer “Yes!” right away. This is the panel between the washer/dryer and the counter; it’s longer than the cabinet because it’s the depth of the washer/dryer.

The tall panel is the correct depth. And yes, the washer/dryer will extend a bit into the window, and yes I did know that already. I’d much rather have them there than in the pantry.

The third (if I’m remembering these things in order) had to do with the projected shimming of the cabinets on the wall with the sink - which we actually can’t do, because at the far left there is a drawer unit, and you can’t shim that. After awhile the contractor’s partner and I realized that “over the floor” and “under the dishwasher” meant the same thing. But it took awhile.

And then I fled to my program (which went extremely well, thank goodness).

Wednesday (actual Day 15) began with “Ohhhhh, that moon’s bright.” For the first time I was not on the back porch to greet the crew on arrival. And for me, it turned out to be a day like the previous day: many and varied conversations, more words spoken than I needed to comprehend a situation . . . but one relieving resolution. I did not need to be told three times in quick succession that it might not be possible to duplicate the original window frames exactly. At any moment I felt like I’d start to channel Lucy Honeychurch: “No, NO! I will not listen to ONE MORE WORD!”

But the first Big Problem of the Day was “Where are the countertops?” “What, they didn’t come with the cabinets?” “No, they’re not here!” “What was in those big long boxes?” “The panels to go around the appliances.” Uh oh! The good news: the kitchen designer at ye Heaumeau Depeau called as soon as he got my email, which was a great relief. The bad news: he’d told me right from the beginning, and proved it, that I was supposed to call the stonemason people making the counters to schedule something called a templating. So the “Oops!” was my fault. Better news: the nice stonemason people were able to schedule a templating on Friday morning, first thing!

Then the Big Issue to tackle was the Wickedly Delayed Appliances. The kitchen designer was very sympathetic, and gave me an 800 number I had already used. This time, however, I went to a different menu - customer care, not appliance delivery or whatever it was - and . . . and I actually got to speak to a real live person! Over 54 minutes (most of it on hold), two HD staff solved the problem of the back ordered dishwasher. They were able to cancel it from my original order and reschedule the delivery of all the remaining appliances for next week Wednesday. The second staffer told me how refreshing it was to speak with someone who was so courteous and not screaming and yelling all the time. So that was a great relief.

And then I really was thrilled with the progress that had been made on cabinet installation. I am so excited to get this all done and be able to move things in! Because I haven’t started to load them, it feels like I have a lot more storage than before. But that might not turn out to be true.

The pantry cabinets are coming along nicely, too. I’m especially happy with those glass-fronted doors.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Fourteen

Has it really been two weeks?

It’s been quiet here the last three days - just me, continuing to turn right after I leave the bathroom and then quickly turning left - but this morning the crew returned to start installing all the cabinetry that arrived Friday.

I have been sleeping heavily lately (which is wonderful), and I have a lot on my mind. The horoscopes have been directing me to the need for flexibility (and therefore patience). Mother always used to say “This is an opportunity to practice patience.”

Now you know there is nothing I enjoy so much as being asked questions to which I do not know the answer. And today my head is full of pre-election anxiety, and also preparations for tonight’s Etiquetteer program. So when the doorbell rang about 20 minutes ago with a request to come to the back, I reacted with willing curiosity and invisible (I hope) anxiety.

The contractor’s partner, who is top-notch and a real pro, had a couple things to go over with me, but I felt like I had to drop a few breadcrumbs along the way to try to understand what he needed. More than once I had to say “I’m not quite sure what it is that you’re asking.” It boiled down to four things, one of which started with something that was my fault:

• Two missing cabinets, each of which goes over an appliance. Solution: these two cabinets had been successfully reordered after I discovered I had given a faulty measurement for the ceiling, and were actually right there in the room with us.

• One missing cabinet, a narrow one that goes under a counter in the pantry. Solution: maybe it’s in another box.

• Is this panel between the washer/dryer and the countertop a 12” or a 24”. Solution: I have no blessed idea.

• What to do about the slope in the floor toward the center of the house. Installing the counter and cabinets as is would result in a tilting countertop (not good), but adding something else to the floor (which already has an additional 1/8 inch subflooring) would compromise the height of the countertops in relation to the electrical outlets. Or something like that. Solution: shim the base of the cabinets.

Even with two-plus cups of coffee in me, this all felt incomprehensible. But I did my very best to be patient, respectful, and present in the situation.

Later tonight, when I come back from my program, I’m sure there will be some worthy progress on the cabinet installation. I am most eager to see all this completed!

Kitchen Renovation, Day Ten, Part Two

First, I think it is extremely important to acknowledge that my burdens are light compared to what everyone else is going through in this horrible year. i am indeed counting my blessings, and grateful every day for the good people in my life.

So, on the plus side, the cabinetry arrived safely and has been stowed, the electrical inspection passed, and the “boards have been mounted” in preparation for the plasterer to come in early tomorrow and get things going.

I just can’t believe all this stuff!

I had been warned - I forget by whom; if it was you, I apologize - that a staging area would be needed because there was nothing so expansive as a delivery of kitchen cabinets in cardboard boxes. And my goodness, it must be seen to be believed! I surely wasn’t expecting so very many boxes. My back porch has now been filled to the cubic inch, and I can only hope that it doesn’t collapse. After the plasterers do their business tomorrow, much of it will move inside.

The workmen got up all the sheetrock in preparation for the plasterers tomorrow, which made me happy.

Then . . . then my mood turned when I came back from errands and saw a voicemail on my phone. It was from the company supplying most of my appliances (via ye Heaumeau Depeau). The model dishwasher I ordered is on back order, which means that the entire order will not arrive on Monday, but on the next available Saturday.

Saturday, October 3, 2020.

They only figured this out now, less than half a business day from the day of delivery?!

This - how shall I say this? - this rather upsetting news led to a series of phone calls:

• The vendor, who said “This order is through ye Heaumeau Depeau and they have a policy of not sending incomplete orders. You need to take this up with them directly.”

• HD’s 800 number, with the usual Byzantine menu of options, none of which include “To speak to an operator, press . . . “ The only option I was allowed to choose was to accept an October 3 delivery date, or a later one.

• HD South Bay’s store line. On the first attempt, they hung up on me after ten minutes of listening to the phone ring. On the second attempt, an actual person after 15 minutes, who was allegedly sympathetic, who passed me on to someone else in Appliances. Both of them began every sentence with “Unfortunately . . . “ The gent in appliances gave me a different 800 number. “You can tell them that you need a different time.”

• HD’s 877 number, which was the exact same set of prerecorded options as the first. There was no way to speak to an actual person. The dude at HD deliberately sent me on a wide goose chase.

I feel like my consumer rights are being violated. And I will deal with it tomorrow.

Later I got a voicemail from the company supplying my stove (also through HD), that it would be delivered August 28.

The icing on the cake: washing up after dinner in the bathroom, I broke a favorite bowl. I am so angry with myself about it.

All this is nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what’s going on in the world. When I wake up tomorrow morning, things will feel better, more like there’s a solution. At the moment though, I will admit to feeling helpless and like I’ve been played for a chump.

Kitchen Renovation, Day Ten

This morning I was focused on my coffee and the news of last night’s convention. But this month’s horoscope is all about flexibility, so when other subjects call for attention, I successfully changed channels.

For awhile I was simultaneously juggling multiple WhasApp and Insta threads with my English friends as well as the contractor and his partner via text: stained glass ideas, lawn ornaments, electrical inspections, sheetrock, quarantining overseas . . . all sorts of topics. I found out that the contractor’s partner was waiting for the inspector in front of the house in his truck.

When those conversations had ended, I overheard a back fence neighbor talking in their parking lot with an arborist about lopping off a few tree limbs from trees growing on my property (which legally they can do). A couple minutes later, he spotted me trying hard to get back to the news, and roped me into a 15-minute conversation about their plans, possible risk to my house, and anxiety about the remainder of hurricane season this year. We’ll have a meeting next week over drinks to discuss further.

The electrical inspector did actually show up this morning, and the inspection has now been completed. Hurrah! The workmen will now begin “hanging the boards” for the plasterer.

With all this activity, as well as the news, it’s not easy to focus on other things!