Dear Etiquetteer:
Your advice is requested to help better manage a small crowd of devoted music fans after a symphony concert. I recently attended a post-concert reception where a small group in a crowded room had an opportunity to meet the conductor who had just performed. Fortunately, everyone, for the most part, was well behaved in congratulating the maestro on a wonderful performance. Some fans lingered a bit long, standing close and blocking other’s access and any chance for the maestro’s escape. The maestro herself was more than gracious, staying 20 or 30 minutes to speak with her fans, pose for selfies, etc. I only wished, after the fact, that we had taken steps to make the event flow more smoothly, to ensure better use of the artist’s time and energy, and to assure all gathered that it was appropriate to speak to the maestro albeit in a limited manner.
I was reminded of how helpful a receiving line can be at formal events like a state funeral. (Is it true that Jacqueline Kennedy met Aristotle Onassis in the receiving line at JFK’s memorial?*) Is it appropriate to use a receiving line in a smaller less formal event, and how does Etiquetteer advise employing such a technique with Perfect Propriety? As an event organizer, I aim to be helpful, not officious. My goal is to ensure an ease of exchange between the maestro and her many enthusiastic fans.
Dear Fan Planner:
Etiquetteer loves a receiving line as much as music groupies love a conductor. But there are two problems with using one here. First, they are often (unjustly) thought of as stuffy and rigid, and this post-concert event sounds appropriately loosely structured (which is fine). Second, a receiving line is for greeting only, not extended conversation. But celebrities of any stripe tend to have circles of admirers form around them regardless, wherever they are. No matter what arrangements you put in place, Etiquetteer fears your guests will just swarm the maestro when she arrives.
What this event** needs is a host or a handler (or two) to escort the maestro through the crowd, allowing her to speak with guests but who will add “There are some people over here who would also like to speak with you” with a firm hand on her elbow. Your maestro will also need to become adept at concluding conversations with such methods as the Firm Handshake, the Kind but Final Smile, and phrases such as “It was such a pleasure to meet/see you,” “I hope you enjoy the evening,” “Thank you, goodbye,” and “Won’t you excuse me, please?” (Receiving lines can be inexcusably held up if one of the hosts is a long talker — for instance President Biden, who kept a receiving line going so long that dinner was not served until 10:30 PM. Read Etiquetteer’s column on that contretemps here.)
Etiquetteer wishes you a smoothly run event with respectful guests and beautiful but brief conversations.
*No, this is not true. Certainly they had met by 1963, as Jackie spent some time on the Onassis yacht recovering from the birth and death of her infant son Patrick in summer of that year.
**Etiquetteer defines “a small crowd” as less than 50. More than 50, and a receiving line might work better.