“Men wore white gloves, I’m glad to say, and that was very nice that they wore gloves. Because then your dress didn’t get stained behind [by] the sweat from the hand.” — Diana Tennant, interviewed in the 2001 BBC documentary Debutantes
Dear Etiquetteer:
My wife and I are going to a weekly Scottish country dancing class/social dance. It’s a mixed bag of experienced dancers and beginners, with singles as well as couples. The social part is everyone, and the experienced people pair up with beginners. Regardless, most dances involve progressing through other partners. One of the other dancers has what can only be described as grossly sweaty hands. Is there anything one can politely say to get them to maybe dry them between dances?
Dear Dancing:
There are few better ways to get to know an entire room full of people than country dancing. If you are dancing “longways for as many as will,” which is two lines of couples facing each other, you will end up dancing at least one figure with everyone in the line.
Perspiring hands have long been known as a dance hazard, so gentlemen already have a couple solutions. At a ball a gentleman wore a pair of white gloves* (sometimes provided by the hostess) so that his hand would not leave sweaty marks on the ballgowns of his partners. “If a lady waltz with you, beware not to press her waist; you must only lightly touch it with the open palm of your hand, lest you leave a disagreeable impression not only on her ceinture*, but on her mind,” wrote The Perfect Gentleman in 1860. Indeed, Professor Thomas E. Hill, in The Essential Handbook of Victorian Etiquette, suggested that gentlemen have two pairs, one to wear before supper and one to wear after. To Etiquetteer that suggests that Freshness matters.
Dancing gloves must be white. “White gloves are indispensable,” according to The amateur’s preceptor on dancing & etiquette, by D.L. Carpenter. '“Do not wear black or colored gloves, lest your partner look sulky,” added Charles William Day in his Hints on Etiquette. Their emphasis was that gentlemen who might prefer darker gloves because they were in mourning had no business in a ballroom to begin with.
A country dance is too informal for white gloves. But Professor Hill provides our solution. “No gentleman should use his bare hand to press the waist of a lady in the waltz. If without gloves, he should carry a handkerchief in his hand.” Why not offer this Oblivious Sweaty Dancer a clean handkerchief in friendly fashion after the first dance? “I find I work up a sweat after the first dance, don’t you? Oh no, keep it, I have another.” A bandana might be more in keeping with the informality of the dance, or even a tartan hanky since you specify Scottish country dancing. Make this a habit every week, and this person should eventually Take the Hint and provide their own.
You are careful not to specify the gender of this dancer — and of course all humans can work up a sweat. But Etiquetteer must emphasize that a gentleman does not correct a lady on something as basic as hygiene, nor a lady a gentleman. The offer of a handkerchief is one thing, but an extended discussion is quite another. Take care not to create embarrassment.
Etiquetteer wishes you many joyful evenings, “foot[ing] it featly here and there, and sweet sprites bearing the [sweaty] burden.”***
*A lady always wore gloves no matter what, including while dancing, but not at table.
**“A belt or sash for the waist,” according to the dictionary.
***The Tempest, Act I, scene ii.