Etiquetteer’s suggested update of Cleveland Amory’s Who Killed Society? last week generated quite a few interesting suggestions from readers via the mailing list, Facebook, and Instagram. Some of these were clearly invented to break down our individual Perfect Propriety. It is so very difficult to remain composed while repeatedly yelling “Representative!” into the automated “customer service” phone line!
And here they are now, with Etiquetteer’s thanks to everyone who contributed:
Murder in the First Degree
With Deliberation, Premeditation and Malice Aforethought:
Online help desks and automated customer service numbers.
The hippie generation (“. . . although perhaps with the indulgence of their baby boomer parents. But primarily the selfishness and self-absorption of the hippies which continues to metastisize.”)
“The youth not being respectful and well-mannered.” (NB: This from a reader clearly under the age of 30.)
Book bans.
Without Deliberation, Premeditation or Malice Aforethought, but Committed while Engaged in Another Felony:
The Kardashians (all of them).
The McMansion.
Casual use of profanity (e.g. “use of the good old Germanic word ‘f***’ as an intensifier adverb in any and all situations.”)
Murder in the Second Degree, With Design to Effect Death but without Deliberation, Premeditation or Malice Aforethought:
Use of smartphones on the street.
Online shopping.
Manslaughter in the First Degree, While Engaged in the Commission of a Misdemeanor:
Crocs.
Jeans, hoodies, and baseball caps.
Manslaughter in the Second Degree
By a Person Committing a Civil Trespass:
Nostalgia for social ephemera.
In the Heat of Passion by the Use of a Dangerous Weapon or by Cruel and Unusual Means:
Rush Week for fraternities and sororities.
By any Culpable Negligence, such as Negligent Use of Machinery, Care of Animals, etc.
Supermarket self-checkout technology.