Herewith, a few Little Bits of Interest you never know when you may need at the dinner table:
Because every rule needs an exception that doesn’t come up much, the only fork that goes on the right is the oyster fork. If soup is also on the menu, the oyster fork rests at an angle in the bowl of the soup spoon. If not, it should be set straight up and down.
The only other fork that does not go on the left is the dessert fork, which may be set above the plate with a dessert spoon. Etiquetteer often spaces on which goes where, but the dessert fork goes above facing right and the spoon below it facing left. Here’s a handy mnemonic: Tines top/tines right, bowl left/bowl below.
Salt cellars are very small glass or crystal bowls for salt. (There are astonishingly beautiful silver salt cellars, too, some with glass liners.) Often they come with tiny silver spoons. Scatter salt from the spoon over your food; this operation may take a little longer if you’re used to a shaker and exuberant use of salt. Don’t put the salt spoon back into the salt cellar, as that will hasten its corrosion — an exception to the rule never to put a piece of silver on the table after it’s been used. In the relationship between silver and salt, silver is the enabler and salt is the abuser.
When there is no salt spoon, use your fingers to scatter your salt a pinch at a time. Do not pick up the salt cellar and wave it over your plate! Yes, this means actually using your fingers. If someone else takes a pinch of salt from your salt cellar, remember that salt is a preservative and that everyone was supposed to wash their hands before coming to the table. Don’t stress about it.
Speaking of spoons, caviar spoons are always made of horn, because metal affects the taste of the caviar.
Formal dinner tables often include small dishes of nuts or candies (don’t mix them). Remember the Maillard bonbons at May Archer’s farewell dinner for the Countess Olenska in The Age of Innocence? They should be bite-sized bonbons, chocolates, or caramels. Etiquetteer likes it best when they are not wrapped; this eliminates drifts of foil paper trash on the table. Opinions may vary about the brown paper frill, but Etiquetteer would nix those, too.
Etiquetteer usually has a box of Andes mints in memory of Dear Grandmother, but they usually remain in the parlor. The green foil wrapper is part of the Andes Mint Experience.
Flowers remain a popular choice for centerpieces, but they aren’t the only option. Jaded eyes love novelty! Fruit, figurines, shells — use your imagination. The Duchess of Devonshire tried live fluffy yellow chicks once for a dinner at Chatsworth, in some sort of glass container. They were such a success that the following year she attempted fresh-scrubbed pink piglets, but they became such a nuisance that the Duke ordered them off the table*. This sort of experimentation is only possible with an extensive staff or mad DIY skills. Etiquetteer would still suggest caution.
*From Wait for Me! by Deborah Mitford Duchess of Devonshire.