Dear Etiquetteer:
I belong to the YWCA in my small town and use its small but nice gym. I have no set schedule for my visits so don’t have regular gym buddies I say hello to. Instead, when I do get to the gym, there’s often one or two folks either already working out or following my arrival a few minutes later. It feels very awkward not to at least say hello, yet it is equally awkward to ignore their presence.
What do I do? Do I say a cheery “Hello!”? Do I just jump on the treadmill and ignore everyone? Do I just make eye contact and nod my head and grunt? One time, I said hello to a young man who was at the gym the last 3-4 times I was there. I said hello and joked it was funny we seemed to be on the same schedule. He turned about five shades of red, said “Huh,” and has since made a very obvious effort to ignore me when our paths cross. What did I do wrong? How do I present as a friendly fellow human without breaking some silent gym etiquette code?
Dear Gym Buddy:
There are many different reasons to go to a gym, and one of the minor ones is to socialize. (People whose principal purpose is actually to work out frequently complain about Social Gym Members hogging the machines for chatting and posing.) Many people feel the need to focus exclusively on their workout, so any form of conversation is a distraction, even with people they know well. Some actively fear getting drawn into chatter, particularly with strangers, which probably explains the behavior of your Grunting Gym Bro.
This is the opposite of how we’re taught to behave in social situations, so feeling uncomfortable at first with this more focused environment isn’t unusual. A nod and a small smile are really all that’s needed to acknowledge the presence of others in the room; grunting is an option Etiquetteer has never found Perfectly Proper as a greeting. This way you can recognize everyone’s common humanity without disrupting their routine. And if you do fall into conversation with someone, move away from the machine you’re using (after wiping it down with your towel) to allow others to get on with their workouts. That might not be an issue in your small small-town gym, but Etiquetteer hears about it plenty from big-city gym members.
Not now, I’m concentrating.