Etiquetteer’s mind wandered to some unexpected corners while out Christmas shopping last week:
It really takes very little effort to hold the door for other shoppers, and it takes even less to say “Thank you” when someone holds the door for you. It’s lovely to see it happening so much. Please continue.
Etiquetteer believes more and more that the reason Santa checks his list twice is not for niceness or naughtiness but for clothing sizes, brand preferences, and whether or not someone might (or might not) have something already. Parents and spouses should be ready with this information when friends and relatives ask them in advance.
For the person who has everything, a page-a-day calendar might be one of the best gift ideas.
When attending a buffet meal in a private home, you may begin eating when someone else joins you at the table. Etiquetteer’s family always applied Matthew 18:20: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
If this buffet meal is in a private home where grace is said, it is more efficient for grace to be said before the buffet opens. But if not, and you find you’ve started eating beforehand, just put your silverware down on your plate and wait respectfully. The Deity of Your Choice will forgive you, and if others present won’t, that says more about them than about you.
Dear Mother used to say “When you lose your temper, you lose your point.” If you’re determined to talk about Traditionally Taboo Topics like Religion or Politics this holiday season -- which Etiquetteer does not think is a good idea -- you will sound less like you’re losing your mind if you tone down the volume.
Your holiday gathering will be much more Perfectly Proper, not to mention comfortable, when you accept in advance that three things will go wrong. Etiquetteer received this wisdom from a Wise Old Gentleman 20 years ago, and it is quite true indeed. Think calmly now about what to do if a gift is mislabeled and opened by the wrong person, if the main course is damaged beyond salvage, if someone shows up needing to prepare and cook a dish you expected to be brought ready to serve. Flexibility and Laughter in the face of collapsing plans will help keep your holiday memorable for the right reasons.
The solutions to those three problems could be: apologize and sort out the correct gifts right away (so important when children are involved), scrambled eggs, and two deep breaths while somehow clearing off some counter space and adjusting cooking times for other dishes.