The holidays are going to be very different in this annus horribilis. Etiquetteer doesn’t think it’s safe for you to travel anywhere at all, in fact! That means hunkering down at home with all the familiar holiday trappings, learning how to use video technology if you haven’t yet, and mailing gifts to loved ones a lot sooner than usual, to be sure that they arrive in time. (It also means tipping delivery people more than usual [especially if your usual is nothing] since they are all putting their lives on the line to keep us safe at home.) So this year, Etiquetteer wants to suggest some Perfectly Proper gifts that focus on home life.
FOODSTUFFS
While this year’s Great Feast may not have as many people around the actual table, there’s no reason not to make that table look festive for everyone in your bubble - even if that’s only you. Chocolates are always appropriate on any dinner table, and Etiquetteer loves the Chocolate Snowmen of Burdick’s ($40.00 for box of nine). Send to friends who can put one (or more) at each place with placecards. And for those who remember candy cigarettes fondly, there’s always a box of their Scotch Whisky Chocolate Cigars ($38.00 for box of six). “Dark chocolate ganache blended with whisky is hand-rolled into the shape of a cigar to enjoy in two different distinctive flavors: 10-year-old Laphroaig and 12-year-old Old Pulteney.”
Is Meet Me in St. Louis part of your holiday tradition? Remember when Leon Ames brings Mary Astor a box of chocolates on Hallowe’en to sweeten the news of their move to New York? “Louis Sherry!” exclaims Lucille Bremer. And wouldn’t you know it, Louis Sherry is still here, producing glorious chocolates and sending them hither and yon in the most colorful boxes you can imagine. Tins from two to 24 pieces may be ordered from their website, and will no doubt having you singing along with Judy Garland.
What could be cosier than a cup of tea on a dark winter afternoon? Etiquetteer discovered the teas of Grace Tea Company back in January, at a little shop in Lower Manhattan. For the tea drinker in your life, a five-tin sampler could be Heaven ($48.80-$53.00). Etiquetteer will confess to being specially fond of their Connoisseur ($14.60 for an 8 oz. tin) and Russian Caravan teas ($13.75 for an 8 oz. tin), which convey true subtlety. For those who take tea after dinner instead of coffee, Grace even offers a Demitasse After Dinner Tea ($16.50 for an 8 oz. tin), a “blend of superior Indian teas with exotic pouchong jasmine tea leaves . . . It is a no-nonsense, strong tea, which has an astringency one feels on the tip of the tongue.”
To make hot chocolate even more decadent, add a Toasted Coconut Marshmallow ($15.90 for two 8 oz. tins) from the Vermont Country Store. And for the nut dishes in your holiday parlor, Cream Filberts ($19.95 for a one-lb. bag) will make everything feel more magical.
HOME
Candlelight makes winter evenings (and early mornings) more intimate. Since we can’t change our interior decoration every day, we can change our experience by changing the scent. We Light, “the brainchild of theater people holding a vigil in the city that never sleeps,” is a collective of performing artists who have begun making scented candles as a response to the coronavirus pandemic. Their 100% American soy wax candles use paper wicks, optimal for fragrances that contain essential oils. Looks like they have something to please every nostril, but Etiquetteer is most intrigued by their Cast Party scent, “herbaceous notes of earl grey tea, light musk, sandalwood, linen and powder.” Review all their aromas here. Twelve-ounce candles are $30 apiece, or consider their three-candle bundle ($55) featuring Deep Amber, Rosemary Grapefruit, and Blue Mallee Eucalyptus Verbena.
Now, if you know someone who really needs to be transported, the original piano compositions of Dutch pianist George Beentjes, the Gentleman Composer, could sweep them away. There are selections on his second album, Fin de Siècle, that leave Etiquetteer wanting to hide under the piano like Judy Davis as Georges Sand in Impromptu. You’ll find more information about his ravishing discography here.
Chaotic holiday mugs from Calamity Ware.
Perfect Propriety and Humor are not incompatible, rumors to the contrary. That’s why Etiquetteer is always so delighted by the whackadoo designs from Calamity Ware, celebrating impending apocalypse by twisting traditional forms. The Calamity Ware version of your grandma’s Blue Willow china pattern includes erupting volcanos, whirlpools, sea monsters, pirates, robots, flying monkeys, and more. Their “Things Could Be Worse” holiday mugs take things further! Set of four for $52.00. Their Creature Comfort playing cards will leave you wondering if you should play that ace. $16.00. They have even published an etiquette book, Monster Etiquette! $14.95.
Illustrator Jake Gariepy has perfected his charming style of welcome domesticity, whether it’s the White House or your house. For the person who has everything, a special commission of a family home or favorite room could delight the soul and become a loved heirloom. Commissions run $70-100. More information is available on his website, Dapper and Dreamy.
BOOKS
Of course Etiquetteer always loves to recommend books!
Roger Hutchison is not just a Christian educator of unique empathy, he is an author and artist with a growing reputation*. This year Etiquetteer is recommending two of his titles. Jesus: God Among Us curiously began with a dream in which the life of Christ appeared as a totem pole. Roger recorded this dream in paint, and then in words. “Hutchison takes a moving piece of personal artwork and breaks it down into pieces to serve as the lenses through which to view various biblical stories of Jesus. But he doesn't stop there, as we also find reflections both inspiring and challenging to our own world and our own situations.” $19.95, via Amazon.
Roger’s newest book, Faces: A Love Story, reveals the panoply of humanity in ways we rarely get to see them now: without masks. Roger’s portraits and words reveal our communities to ourselves. The video message below says it better than Etiquetteer ever could. $16.00, via Amazon.
Fascism: A Warning, by former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, should make anyone appreciate hearth and home more. It’s a perceptive, personal, and chilling view of the 20th century, and how those events may repeat in the 21st. “The twentieth century was defined by the clash between democracy and Fascism, a struggle that created uncertainty about the survival of human freedom and left millions dead. Given the horrors of that experience, one might expect the world to reject the spiritual successors to Hitler and Mussolini should they arise in our era. In Fascism: A Warning, Madeleine Albright draws on her experiences as a child in war-torn Europe and her distinguished career as a diplomat to question that assumption.”
As you know, Etiquetteer is a firm believer in Proper Dress, but the pandemic lockdown has taken a toll on even what Etiquetteer is wearing (or not) around the house. I’m Not Wearing Any Trousers: And Other Working from Home Truths, by Abbie Headon, grapples humorously with the joys and challenges of working from home (or homing from work) from a relaxed dress code out of screen view to photobombing pets and children. $9.99 from Harper Collins. Just please don’t stand up during that work Zoom call!
For your favorite mixologist, Dallas-based Andrew Klausner and Jeremy Cooper have compiled not one but two books of original cocktail recipes, Cocktail Hour Meets…A Pandemic and Cocktail Hour Meets…A Presidential Election. The first is subtitled Our 50-day story of coping and bonding during COVID-19. Because even when you don’t know what day it is, there’s still cocktail hour! which says a lot about the universal experience of Time passing during lockdown. You may read Etiquetteer’s review here. The second volume includes new recipes named after all 46 American Presidents, from George Washington (the Whiskey Rebellion) to President-elect Biden (the #NoMalarkey). Yes, that means there’s two cocktails for Grover Cleveland, the 21 and Done and the Take 2. Presidential history enthusiasts will also enjoy the extensive buffet of Presidential trivia included with each recipe. Each title $19.99, via Amazon.
And of course these cocktail authors are Etiquetteer’s special guests at the December 4 Repeal Day Celebration!
If you prefer your drinks dedicated to women, there’s always Drinking Like Ladies by Misty Kalkofen and Etiquetteer’s beloved Miss Kitty, Kirsten Amann. have assembled a mouth-watering lineup of drinks for that special hour between 5 and 7 PM. Just remember to keep your pinkies in. $17.81.
*Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, Etiquetteer’s first cousin once removed.