Dear Etiquetteer:
I recently received a wedding invitation that indicated the attire to be "Black Tie Optional.” I was planning on wearing a black silk charmeuse dress with champagne satin accents. The dress, however, is not floor length, but mid-calf. Is this acceptable for an evening, "Black Tie Optional" wedding? And further, should my husband wear a tuxedo, or will a dark grey pinstriped suit suffice? Any guidance on being Perfectly Proper would be appreciated!
Dear Charmeuse:
Etiquetteer deplores the designation “black tie optional.” It’s neither fish nor fowl. One should either dress all the way or not. Since it is always a greater sin to be overdressed than underdressed, Etiquetteer must insist that your husband wear a dark suit and NOT a tuxedo.
As for you, Etiquetteer warns that these days if you wear black to a wedding you’re likely to be mistaken for one of the bridesmaids. Nevertheless, a mid-calf or “tea length” dress is Perfectly Proper for such a wedding as you describe.
Dear Etiquetteer:
I have a blue seersucker suit, but am confused as to what shoes to wear with it. I have a pair of slip-on light brown loafers with tassel. Will this work, or am I just plain tacky?
Dear Seared:
Etiquetteer rejoiced a couple weeks ago when the time came to bring out his own blue seersucker suit for the summer. Many kind people have commented on it, to which Etiquetteer usually replies that they, too, have the power to wear seersucker.
The most Perfectly Proper shoe to wear with a seersucker suit is a pair of white bucks. But of course that’s only Perfectly Proper between Memorial Day and Labor Day. When wearing your seersucker on more casual occasions, Etiquetteer has no objection to tassel loafers . . . but expects some Nantucket red-wearing readers to object strenuously.