There’s a wonderful George Sprod cartoon from Punch of a Victorian couple on the grass with an elaborate picnic spread between them: layer cakes, molded jellies, fish in aspic, tiers of fruit, whole pineapples, even a turkey. The lady is looking up from the hamper to say “I forgot the salt.” Since July is National Picnic Month, what could be more Perfectly Proper than to offer some pointers for picnics? We don’t need to be nearly so elaborate!
Know where you’re going and how to get there. Do not wait until you get in the car to search for directions.
The weather forecast is your friend. Be flexible if necessary. With stories of excessive temperatures and the sad death of hikers*, if the day of your picnic includes extreme heat, don’t be afraid to reschedule.
Be responsible for your own dietary requirements. In this century, '“I forgot the salt” could easily be “Oh, but I’m vegan.” Once you hike in and set up, substitutions are likely all but impossible. When invited, let your host know, and be prepared to bring something that suits your needs (and can be shared). If you’re the host, honor what your guests tell you.
Prepare a moveable feast that’s durable, too. It can’t be said enough: food poisoning is Not Perfectly Proper. Choose foods that will wear well if the ice chest fails.
A meal deserves utensils. Just because it’s a picnic with (perhaps) only sandwiches is no reason to skip plates, glasses, cutlery and especially napkins. Etiquetteer loves those picnic hampers that come with all those things; invest today. Don’t put your guests in the unhappy position of having to lick their fingers or use the ground cloth!
Pack wisely. The fantasy of a “Riparian Entertainment” picnic has its appeal, but that’s a joke that will pall quickly as you all stagger about with Too Much Stuff. Bring only what you need — but check that list twice!
But pack fabulously. That doesn’t mean your picnic has to be dull. Choose some colorful cloths to go on the ground or picnic table. (Or choose all white, and ask everyone to wear all white, in homage to Ingmar Bergman.) And also a small and amusing book so that someone can read aloud after lunch. What could be more Perfectly Proper and Picturesque?
Leave only footprints. There should be no evidence of your picnic when you leave, except possibly a small mound of melting ice if you emptied the cooler. Littering is so midcentury; don’t do it.
Etiquetteer wishes you a shady spot free of ants and the most delicious melon salad at your summer picnic.
*Hikers are not picnickers, Etiquetteer knows, but still — be cautious.