Is complaint a perpetual human state? People do seem to love complaining about the behavior of other people — so much so that Etiquetteer sometimes wonders if they’ve noticed their own. Other people are guilty of so many things Etiquetteer marvels that there could be any Perfect Propriety left in the world. They include, but are far from limited to:
Table manners: Greedy eaters who bolt their food in record time*, talking with their mouths full, and/or using cloth napkins for handkerchiefs come in for their share. It’s one thing to enjoy one’s food, but, to quote the late Veda Pierce, “let’s not be sticky about it.” Passing the salt without the pepper is a comparatively minor sin.
Grooming: Who has not seen or heard complaints about people clipping their fingernails, or even toenails, in public? Bad breath has its place (remember, a mint is a hint), as do belching and flatulence. Etiquetteer remembers Grandma Fontaine “belching frankly with the privilege of her age” in Gone With the Wind, but that’s really not a privilege that should be exercised.
Gift-Giving: Trolling for gifts or cash is not seen as Perfectly Proper, nor are especially prescriptive gift lists. (When people ask what to give you, by all means make a few suggestions. But it’s polite to wait to be asked.) On the other side of the coin, it’s a sin to regift within one’s circle in a way that the Original Gifter can find out. And of course people always complain when someone fails to express thanks for a gift.
Conversation: Frequent interrupters who just cannot wait to complete someone else’s sentences — yes, people complain about them.**
Social Life: It’s a problem when people can’t show up on time. Yes, Life Happens — anyone who lives in a big city will generally have Bad Traffic as an excuse — but when it becomes a habit, people complain.
What chafes you about Other People’s Behavior? Won’t you please drop Etiquetteer a line about it?
*Queen Victoria’s reputation for rectitude has obscured her appalling table manners.
**That Mr. Dimmick Who Thinks He Knows So Much is especially guilty of this Bad Habit. It’s a daily struggle.