The 128th Boston Marathon takes place tomorrow, bringing together Runners and Those Who Love Them from all over the world for 26.2 exhausting miles of excitement. The Boston Athletic Association has published a page of spectator information with appropriate guidelines for how to behave. There’s also a prohibited items list of things you should not bring. Let’s dive in briefly.
Many of these rules could be boiled down to “Don’t obstruct or endanger the runners with your thoughtless frivolity.” Many spectators go to the marathon to cheer individual runners: friends, family, colleagues, you name it. The BAA wisely prohibits “. . . throwing any items onto the course . . [including but] not limited to - confetti, streamers, bubbles and bottles.” Of course when you see Your Runner, you want to be sure they know you’re there. The most Perfectly Proper thing to do is follow the late Pee Wee Herman’s advice: scream real loud! Signage, Etiquetteer imagines, is a sore subject since that poor woman took down the Tour de France a few years ago. (See video above.) Use with caution, if at all, and don’t block anyone else’s view.
Some problems could be eliminated by simply not getting drunk along the course. Etiquetteer’s first year as a marathon spectator* was made memorable by a woman who had clearly overimbibed. Seeing other spectators handing runners sections of orange to suck on (hydration), she thought to be as helpful by trying to hand them a full bag of oranges. That’s like trying to hand a coconut to a swallow**. Thankfully no one stumbled as they swerved out of her area.
One thing the BAA doesn’t mention is pets. Etiquetteer would respectfully encourage you to leave them at home. This dog chasing cyclists in a Belgian bicycle race is all the example you need. Terrifying.
And here’s another from the Tour de France. Etiquetteer feels sorry both for the cyclist and the poor doggy.
Props and costumes are prohibited for spectators, “including those covering the face or any non-form-fitting, bulky outfits extending beyond the perimeter of the body.” It may feel like Mardi Gras, people, but it’s not. This is one time Etiquetteer is forced to agree with Edna Mode: “No capes!” Keep it both form-fitting and celebratory by wearing Your Runner’s colors. (Make sure they choose colors at least a month in advance so you can find something appropriate.)
Lastly, “Spectators are asked to respect their surroundings as well as the residents, and their properties, along the course” means you should start looking for the port-a-potty five minutes before you have to find the port-a-potty.
Etiquetteer wishes you a safe, enjoyable, and Perfectly Proper marathon!
*It might also have been the last.
**An African swallow or a European swallow?