Dear Etiquetteer:
May I ask for your guidance regarding visiting museum galleries? My husband and I recently visited a local museum, our first visit to this venue. We have been to many museums over the years but have never encountered this situation. As we walked through the galleries, viewing the artwork and displays, a curator or gallery guide would walk up to us and spend a very long time discussing the artwork. We politely listened and attempted to move on but the guides continued to appear and talk for much longer than we wished to listen. We continued to listen politely. We hope to visit this museum again but hope to be prepared with a polite way to ask the guides to allow us a quiet and uninterrupted visit. We look forward to your suggestions.
Dear Besieged:
Your query reminded Etiquetteer of traveling in England earlier this century, and popping into a village church with a friend before lunch. Three elderly docents or volunteers were also present and — how to say this? — it was clear they hadn’t had much traffic lately. Their eagerness to communicate all the stories of the church and its individual features and works of art was, um, intimidating rather than infectious. They did almost everything but try to get in the car with us as we left.
Fans of the film version of E.M. Forster’s A Room With a View will also remember an exasperated Lucy Honeychurch trying to shake off a persistent Italian tour guide, finally stalking away telling him “So tutto!” (“I already know it all!”) But there is a better way.
Museums of all sizes have unique ways to guide visitors through their collections. These can be based on what’s on view, the opinions of the founders, leading-edge or experimental ideas from curators, or just on someone important bein’ a plain old bossyboots. Some are wonderful, some are ahem intrusive.
It may be that the guides who lectured you are performing as instructed by leadership. And that means that, if you don’t want what they’re offering, you should be polite when declining. Try responding with something like “We would love to approach you with questions after we’ve had a chance to view/contemplate/absorb/[Word of Your Choice Here] on our own. That’s the kind of museum experience we like best. Thank you for letting us enjoy your wonderful exhibitions in our own way at our own pace.”
If they say anything more than “Of course, happy to help,” you need only interrupt with a kind but firm “Thank you, we’ll come and find you when we have questions” and then proceed elsewhere within the gallery. You may also need to perfect your Icy Look to freeze any further advances. And if, as so often happens now, you get a follow-up “Thank you for your visit” email with a survey, be kind but candid in your evaluation, e.g. “The guides were so eager to share all the information that they had that we spent more time with them than the art.”
Etiquetteer wishes you blissfully undisturbed enjoyment of the museums you visit.
People standing in the way is another pet peeve. This is what happened to Etiquetteer at the Musée de l’Orangerie in 2008.
Etiquetteer asked Instagram readers what bothered them most at museums, and the clear frontrunner was “large crowds*.” Sartre was right: Hell is other people, even when they share cultural interests. This is especially vexing at timed-entry exhibitions. Etiquetteer can only advise going at off-peak hours when possible. “Loud talking” came up quite a bit, too, so a) use your Inside Voice, please, but b) it’s not church.
*One merely said “People.” Etiquetteer rather suspects than an online experience might be more appropriate in this case.