Dear Etiquetteer:
Your response to the 89-year-old gentleman who was losing his ability to write was important to me. I now have a "familial tremor" common to men in my family. My handwriting is getting worse and I actually sometimes use the index finger of my left hand to still the shaking.
I have a slew of thank you notes to write after a death in my family. A relative came over and addressed some of the envelopes for me and in fact wrote the letters for a couple of people. But for most I do the letters myself, and it's a struggle.
Longer term I have thought that I would just type a note at the beginning that says something to the effect that my handwriting has become so bad that I can no longer do a handwritten note. I hope you will accept this as a weak but sincere alternative to a proper handwritten note.
Any suggestions on wording for that?
Dear Tremulous:
First, allow Etiquetteer to express condolences during this period of mourning for your family, which seems to be exacerbated by your tremor. You are fortunate that someone in your family is able and willing to assist you, a common, welcome, and entirely Perfectly Proper way to handle condolence responses. Such letters acknowledge that they are responding for you as well as for the family: “[Insert Your Name Here] and all the family were so touched by your letter,” etc.
But is it really necessary for you to apologize, or even acknowledge, that you’re typing and not handwriting your letters? Etiquetteer thinks not, and will call for backup from two figures rarely linked together: British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, and legendary French chef Julia Child. It was the former who said “Never complain, never explain,” and the latter who cheerfully advised “No excuses, no explanations.” Handwriting your signature, and perhaps a postscript, are more than sufficient. Besides, Etiquetteer would like to think in this century that we are more compassionate to the bereaved than to judge them on how their thanks are sent. Etiquetteer wrote more about condolence correspondence here.
Etiquetteer wishes you solace in communicating with your friends and relations at this challenging time.
May 15 is National Nylon Stockings Day — another random internet holiday! — which is an opportunity to reflect on how fashions have changed. Once upon a time, a lady was not, perhaps, considered a lady if she left her home with bare legs*. This was considered so important during World War II, when nylon was rationed, that liquid leg makeup became a vogue, including drawing straight seams up the back of one’s legs. Nylon stockings have not quite gone the way of the dodo in this century, but more and more ladies have either moved to tights or leggings — or just go without stockings altogether. And you will not hear a peep out of Etiquetteer about it, because ladies have also made it abundantly clear that they simply are not going to let men tell them what they can and cannot wear.
May 15 is also Straw Hat Day, when the boaters and skimmers can come out and the fedoras and Homburgs go back in. You may read Etiquetteer’s history of Straw Hat Day here.
*Of course That Mr. Dimmick Who Thinks He Knows So Much irresistibly remembered Ginger Rogers and Gail Patrick fighting over a pair of silk stockings in Stage Door: “From now on your wear your own stockings or go bare-legged. The places you go it doesn’t make any difference anyway.”