Next Saturday, May 7, marks the 148th running of the Kentucky Derby, an event eagerly anticipated as much by lovers of hats as by lovers of horseflesh. Before the pandemic Kentucky Derby parties enjoyed a vogue. Let’s consider a few Derby traditions, in case there’s a spate of Derby parties again.
What to wear is, of course, the most pressing issue (unless you yourself have a horse running). And hats, especially for the ladies, will be the Supreme Focus. Spectacle is the odds-on favorite, with Whimsy running a close second, but Etiquetteer always places a bet on Bold Practicality. If your hat is too large to get through the door, it’s too large. This is the Derby, not the Ziegfeld Follies, darlings. It’s worth noting that umbrellas are prohibited at Churchill Downs because they block the view of others; so don’t let your hat get that large. And while gentlemen always remove their hats indoors, a lady never does. You handicap your entry if it’s too heavy to keep wearing with comfort.
The official dress code at Churchill Downs is surprisingly lenient about what to wear (as opposed to Royal Ascot, which brooks no dissent. If Ascot is Glamorous Propriety, the Derby is Bright Exuberance). Ladies are gently encouraged to direct all their focus toward their hats and to keep dresses and jewelry simple. And while trousers for ladies are not specifically forbidden, neither are they mentioned. Etiquetteer was amused to see this instruction about shoes: “No Kentucky Derby outfit is complete without the spring heel or sandal. But remember, Churchill Downs historic grounds can be tricky to maneuver and the day is long, so remember to pack a backup pair of flats, just in case!” It would seem simpler and more elegant just to wear flats, wouldn’t it? Ladies, Etiquetteer would very much like to hear your thoughts on this.
“The modern Derby man possesses an unparalleled color palette,” the dress code continues. If ladies are directing attention to their hats, gentlemen direct attention to their pants . . . . “because it is the eye-catcher from a distance,” says the dress code, especially if one is wearing a classic navy blazer. Bracing pastels are recommended for every layer. Anyone who remembers “go to Hell pants” from The Official Preppy Handbook will be right at home. Horse bit loafers are the recommended footwear, but only without socks. Tenderfoots should pack bandages for blisters.
Mint juleps have a long association with the Derby. They require a great deal of finely crushed ice, bourbon, simple syrup, and of course fresh mint. Take care as you muddle the mint! Etiquetteer has never forgotten the words of “Colonel Calhoun” in O. Henry’s story “The Duplicity of Hargraves:” “The one-thousandth part of a grain too much pressure, gentlemen, and you extract the bitterness, instead of the aroma, of this heaven-bestowed plant.”
Etiquetteer really prefers to see juleps served in Perfectly Proper silver julep cups; this is not the same as a stirrup cup, and it is definitely not a copper Moscow Mule mug. Glass cocktail tumblers will do in a pinch, but please chill them first.
And may the best horse win! Don’t forget that Perfect Propriety requires one to win or lose with equanimity. If you lose your shirt, save the meltdown for your return home.
