Dear Etiquetteer:
Thank you for your sharing your wonderful sense of style, etc. When I was very young and basically had no money, I splurged on an Hermès scarf that I still use today.
I loved your closing sentence "after 5 PM the big jewels." In the future could you do an article on jewelry, please. I do wear my "babies" even to a barbecue as I believe that they need to be walked to maintain their sparkle. I lived in Manhattan and always wore pearls vs. gold for safety reasons. Pearls are so unique.
Sadly, an estate jeweler has told me that the younguns are not into jewelry, even heirloom pieces, and would sell them for a trip or an electronic device.
Dear Madam:
Thank you for that lovely compliment. It feels so good to make a difference! Etiquetteer is delighted to ramble on a bit about jewelry for ladies, having grown up in a church full of elderly ladies who wore lovely jewelry.
Cultured pearls and Coco Chanel changed how ladies wore jewelry in the 20th century. Pearls, once rare, became more readily available after Kokicki Mikimoto came up with the process to make what are known as “cultured” pearls. Now a string of cultured pearls is the basis of a lady’s jewel box, and look Perfectly Proper day or night. You’ll find an interesting history of pearls as jewelry at the Jewellery Editor.
Imitation jewelry had been around for ages, but its point was to resemble actual gems. Mademoiselle Chanel took jewelry in another direction, creating pieces that looked Frankly False. And since she was Chanel, costume jewelry took off. Obviously other designers were creating imitation jewelry, but Etiquetteer credits Chanel for making everyone celebrate it.
The old advice “Put on everything you think is right and take one piece off,” however, remains a good standard. Jewelry is supposed to enhance your appearance, and if there are too many distractions, or too much glare, no one will see you! And it was often thought that wearing too much jewelry at once was a vulgar way to call attention to oneself. Etiquetteer just saw the phrase “Whoever came up with ‘Don’t be overdressed’ just doesn’t want us to be fun and sexy.” Etiquetteer doesn’t think that at all. Being fun and sexy is one thing; calling everyone’s attention to your funness and sexiness is another thing. Exhibitionism is tedious.
Etiquetteer has always loved the Belle Epoque story of the famous dueling courtesans Liane de Pougy and La Belle Otero. Liane described this period* as “when I was competing with Otero in the display of jewels and dresses.” One night at Maxim’s Otero staggered in wearing all of her jewels. This significant collection included - but was not limited to - three pearl necklaces that had belonged to Royalty, eight large bracelets of precious stones, ten ruby clips outlining her bosom, “a superfluous note of emphasis;” a tiara of diamonds and pearls, and a bolero (!) of diamonds designed especially for her by Cartier. Liane, who had been tipped off, showed up a bit later in diaphonous white, adorned only with one diamond drop pendant (no doubt very large), and — and this is the important part — followed by her maid carrying a cushion heaped with the rest of her equally enormous collection of jewels**. Liane’s tasteful restraint of course won. Otero looked like a fool after that.
The best kind of jewelry for any lady is quiet jewelry. Etiquetteer is thinking less of Auntie Mame’s temple bell bracelets than a wristful of jangling bangles — especially in the theatre.
But it is interesting how ladies will wear a jewel so much it really does become a part of them. It’s inconceivable to think of them without it. Etiquetteer’s Dear Grandmother always wore a gold bracelet of scarabs carved from semi-precious stones, for instance. When the Duchess of Devonshire was handed over the family jewels after her father-in-law died, she was shocked to discover the pearls her mother-in-law had always worn. Debo immediately handed them back to her, unable to think of her not wearing them. She herself chose a different set of pearls and added a star ruby clasp; they became her uniform jewelry.***
Nancy Cunard would clobber you with those bracelets.
At the other end of the spectrum is writer Nancy Cunard, famous as the Bright Young Thing who slept with every white writer and black musician she could get her hands on in France during the 1920s. Her growing obsession with Africa led her to assemble a significant collection of wood and ivory bracelets from that continent. Many of them were quite large, and she would load her arms well past her elbows with them. The effect was powerful, since Nancy had a rather spindly figure to begin with. Powerful in another way, too, as they lent force to her blows in domestic arguments. Her lover Henry Crowder appeared visibly bruised one day. When someone expressed concern, he replied “Just a bit of bracelet work.”****
Miss Manners gets more specific about Etiquetteer’s tossed-off comment “No big jewels before 5 PM.” She instructs us that “Diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires should not be worn before dark, the only exception being those that are set in engagement or wedding rings.” So if you have a headlight-sized amethyst or topaz, for instance, by all means blind someone with it at a breakfast meeting.
Etiquetteer shares your chagrin that These Kids Today lack interest in heirloom jewelry - really in heirloom anything. But Etiquetteer is comforted somewhat by the knowledge that Fashion is cyclical, and 30 years from now there is likely to be a resurgence of interest. The children of These Kids Today may end up with enduring curiosity about Grandma’s and Great-Grandma’s trinkets. Let us hope so, at any rate!
Mexican silver filigree brooches could take a lady from day to night.
*In her famous diary Mes cahiers bleu.
**From Elegant Wits and Grand Horizontals by Cornelia Otis Skinner.
***From Debo’s wonderful memoir Wait for Me!
****There are two gripping biographies of Nancy Cunard worth your time: Nancy Cunard: A Biography, an Anne Chisholm, and Nancy Cunard: Heiress, Muse, Political Idealist, by Lois Gordon.