1) The end of January bulges with anniversaries for me: the anniversary of my coming out (1989), of my first day of work at ye Instytte (1990), of the start of Etiquetteer* (2001). And because February invariably comes at the end of January, this year I can include for the first time the February 1 death of my mother (2019).
1a) How did I observe all these milestones this year? The first not at all, beyond daily gratitude for being able to live openly and safely. Original Boss and I celebrated our 30th anniversary over an elegant luncheon just off campus (it took all my willpower not to eat my dessert and his while he was away from the table), after which I actually had to drop off a couple things at the old office. For Etiquetteer I cobbled together a hasty Top Ten list (and have already had a thoughtful reader response to it on how to interact with the bereaved).
2) In the year since Mother died, so much has changed. My daily life evolves since I left ye Instytytte six months ago, and I struggle to establish and maintain a routine that is productive. One of Mother’s close friends died a few weeks ago. The Methodist Church is dividing into two distinct congregations. And we all know what’s happening on the national scene.
2a) What has not changed is that I continue to miss Mother every day. I’m not crippled by this, but it’s present.
3) I’ve mentioned before that, impulsively, I took Mother’s Bible when we were clearing out the house last March, and I am so very glad that I decided to do that. This morning, despairing over the national situation on this first anniversary of her death, I asked for her guidance to direct me to an appropriate scripture. That turned out to be Job chapters 34 and 35, strong meat for the current situation that I am still groping to interpret.
3a) Mother often compared Donald Trump to Rahab, along the lines of God using a sinner for His purposes. I would say to her “Mamma, that analogy only works if the United States is Jericho, and Rahab was working for the fall of Jericho. I don’t want the United States to fall!”
* Etiquetteer actually began as an email list in the summer of 2001. I observe the anniversary at the end of January as it coincides with the launch of the first version of the website, which might have been in — oh hell, who can remember?