It might as well be said right up front that I’ve had a cold since Wednesday afternoon, so everything I’m thinking and expressing is filtered through a filter of congestion, a wee bit of fever, and a river of snot.
1) Every day, every moment, I am conscious of how much I have to be grateful for. Even having this cold - I can have it without worrying about inconveniencing anyone in an office, or volunteers! I can just sit here in my comfortable, crowded, messy house, blowing my nose every five minutes yesterday - and not inconvenience anyone.
2) A friend said “Chicken soup and old movies” for a cold, and right now I’m watching The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. In the words of the late Mrs. Lloyd Richards (Karen), “The things you remember, and the things you don’t.” I remember seeing this movie for the first time late at night in the den on Orchid Street, when it was broadcast by some local Texas TV station (and interrupted every five minutes by local election results). Because it was after bedtime, I had the volume down as low as possible and was practically sitting inside the television.
2a) Watching it this evening, it’s like the perfect romance for introverts. And at the end, after Lucy dies and she and Captain Gregg walk out of the house into the fog! Of course Bernard Hermann’s score creates the right atmosphere . . .
3) The crankiness, as so often, comes from tech-related issues; I swear I need a butler with a BS in computer science! And frankly, I am not in a place where I want to think about anything.
4) National Coming Out Day - always October 11 - brings up different thoughts, too. This year I’ve been out for 30 years. Thirty! And every day I’m thankful for the community of friends around me love and support me through all my craziness and enthusiasms. And every day I’m thankful to have been able to make Massachusetts my home, a state where Men of the Oscar Wilde Sort are welcomed much more so than in other states . . . such as ahem Louisiana.
4a) It makes me think about my parents, too, who had a lot of trouble with my decision but didn’t want me not to be in their lives.
5) Sorry to be such a crankypants, friends! Thanks for sticking with me. All I want now is a solid night’s sleep.