Today marks the start of Universal Letter Writing Week*, which is just wonderful, because Etiquetteer knows how many of you have been looking for another reason to put pen to paper now that all the holiday cards have been sent.
Speed has always been prized in communication, so it’s no surprise that we’ve migrated to electronic means — texting, email, social media — though this can only be as fast as the willingness of the recipient to respond. Etiquetteer has had texts and DMs go unread for weeks. Ahem.
Today, letter writing could be described as the Slow Food of Personal Correspondence. It encourages traditional forms and ingredients, including stationery, and requires a bit more cultivation for a flavorful, fulfilling result. While letters are a wonderful way to tell a story, they may also be very brief. Etiquetteer very much has weddings on the brain right now (next month is National Weddings Month), and is therefore fascinated to discover the letters written individually to close family and friends to announce an engagement. A boilerplate example would be this:
Dear Myron,
Delighted to inform you that Miss Dewy Freshness has agreed to become my wife. Will you stand up with me as an usher?
Yours,
Manley
Brief, concise, specific — what could be more Perfectly Proper? One of the artifacts in Etiquetteer’s library is Dear Mother’s notebook of Effective Letters from her days in the secretarial pool. Letter writers are asked to review their correspondence for four qualities before sending: is it Clear? Concise? Conversational? Correct? Good advice then, good advice today.
A letter is not an email, and Etiquetteer wants letters to begin with the traditional salutation “Dear [Name].” Some people get fussy and declare “But So-and-So is not dear to me!” To which Etiquetteer responds “Don’t be so literal, it’s tedious.” Besides which, it’s often necessary to correspond with people not, um, First in our Affections. At the height of their feud, the explorers Sir Richard Burton and John Hanning-Speke could only be induced to begin their letters to each other with “Sir:” unsoftened by “Dear.”** Surely that’s not the tone you want to set.
Etiquetteer hopes you will take the time to write at least one honest-to-goodness letter this week — by hand or with your typewriter — not just to get back in practice, but for the joy your recipient will have in getting it.
*A gentle reminder that Etiquetteer does not come up with these observances, but decidedly enjoys them.
**Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton, by Edward Rice (1990), page 322.