Dear Etiquetteer:
My family had a long and historic provenance. We pass a signet ring generation to generation. It only fits on my pinky, and I’m unsure of wearing it thus. Are there any other ways to wear such jewelry that honors the family but fits 21st-century aesthetics?
Dear Beringed:
Etiquetteer can’t agree that an heirloom signet ring doesn’t fit the 21st century. According to Tiffany & Co. they are making a comeback — but then they would profit by saying so. Simplicity and severity are the traditional hallmarks of a gentleman’s jewelry, and remain a standard of Perfect Propriety.
The pinky finger, in fact, is the Perfectly Proper finger for your signet ring. The fourth finger is always reserved for one’s wedding ring, which Amy Vanderbilt observed became the custom during World War II. She also had opinions about rings on other fingers. “Rings worn on the index finger or on the second [middle] finger are just plain theatrical and affected, no matter how they were worn in Victorian days.*” Esquire Etiquette of 1953 barbs its warning differently: “A ring is just about the only pretty that a man can wear without looking pretty-pretty himself.”** The overall suggestion is that, for gentlemen, Less Is More.
Etiquetteer would not be quite so rigid, but any person’s jewelry should contribute to his or her attractiveness, not move the focus to the jewels themselves at the expense of the wearer. As Auntie Mame said to Agnes Gooch about a dress “Put down that lime green at once, Agnes. You’re supposed to dominate it!” You’ll find more of Etiquetteer’s ideas about a gentleman’s jewelry in Volume 19 here, and Gentleman’s Gazette has a marvelous piece about their collection of pinky rings.
If you want to wear your ring, but not on a finger, it’s not really unusual to wear it as a pendant on a gold chain. You could also, if there are not further generations to whom to bequeath it, have it altered into a lapel pin. Understandably some might consider this Next Door to Heresy, and Etiquetteer doesn’t really recommend it. But if you’re the Last of Your Name, it’s really up to you.
Etiquetteer wishes you quiet contemplation of family pride as you wear your signet ring out and about.
*Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Gracious Living, 1954.
**Nuggets of Cold War-era homophobia pop up here and there in this etiquette time capsule, for instance “. . . a man who drapes his too-full polo coat over his shoulders may not be a queer . . . But if a man looks sharp or queer or corny, the people he meets may not stick around to discover the truth hidden by his off-beat clothes.” This anti-dandy stance may possibly explain the post-Woodstock Peacock Revolution.