Each household has its own way of celebrating Thanksgiving, from booking a private room at the club to sitting on the sofa in front of the TV like every other dinner, just with a nicer plate. But a buffet seems to be the most popular way to serve Thanksgiving dinner, with its Glorious Bird and galaxy of required favorite side dishes and desserts. Buffets can be easy, but they also have their issues. Let’s look at how to manage a Thanksgiving buffet with Perfect Propriety.
By definition a buffet is informal (although Perfectly Proper households use the Good Stuff for this important holiday). For Thanksgiving it is arranged either in the dining room (on the sideboard or on the dining table itself if everyone is seated elsewhere) or even along the kitchen island*. Many of the old etiquette books put symmetry and aesthetics over user convenience, putting the plates in the center of the buffet in front of the main course. But darn it, that means only one person can approach the buffet at a time, and we all know that’s not efficient for a big family feed! Please position your plates at the end where guests will start serving themselves, and the main course immediately next to it. Then side dishes, and then silver and napkins at the very end (if not already set on the dining tables, see below). Desserts should be brought out after everyone has finished dinner.
“The buffet supper is clearly rising in favor among smart metropolitan people” rhapsodizes Lila Haxworth Wallace in The New American Etiquette of 1941. “In a small house or apartment, more guests can be entertained at a buffet supper than at dinner. Late arrivals do not upset seating arrangements . . . and it can be make one of the prettiest and gayest of social occasions . . . Candles on the table and on the buffet, of course. Lovely flowers. Fine laces, or bare mahogany, or shining glass surfaces. Stacks of plates, piles of dainty small napkins, knives, spoons and forks arranged in graceful patterns.” What could be more Perfectly Proper?
The only problem with this Vision of Loveliness is the bounty of the Thanksgiving menu. “Graceful patterns” of silverware, no matter how pretty, take up valuable real estate. Take a tip from Etiquetteer and set each place at your table(s) in advance. This not only leaves room for the creamed onions, it means your guests have fewer things to carry as they search for their places. Whether you have one or two large tables or several small ones, save more buffet space by placing bread baskets and condiments (butter, cranberry sauce and other relishes) on each one.
Because it’s a buffet, you just need to have one dinner knife and fork per person, and one dessert fork and spoon. Remember, dessert silver goes horizontally at the top of each place. Set your water goblets and wineglasses to the right of each place as well.
Finally, a couple things people sometimes forget. Protect the surface of your buffet table with a trivet or pad for each hot dish, especially the platter for the Glorious Bird. Second, if you use candlesticks, get a bobeche for each one, a small glass collar that rests on top of the candlestick and prevents melted wax from dribbling onto your best table linens.
And one last word about napkins. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays when people go on and on about cloth napkins vs. paper napkins. Etiquetteer covered it all before, and while it scandalizes some cloth-minded people, paper napkins can be Perfectly Proper. Read it all here.
Etiquetteer wishes you smooth and happy arrangements for your Great Feasts! And please send any further queries you might have here.
*This is how Dear Mother managed holiday buffets for a family of eight.