Dear Etiquetteer:
I live in a closely packed urban neighborhood where most houses have only a parking space and a little bit of grass between them. Usually I keep my curtains drawn since the view is so limited.
The other morning while I was sitting near a window I heard a persistent rustling outside by my car. Peeking through the curtains I saw a strange man in a knit cap walking around my car. He was gathering up little bits of trash around my car! As he moved toward the front of my house, I moved to another window. He continued picking up bits of things in front, and then I recognized him: a neighbor from a nearby house.
Etiquetteer, I am at a loss how to deal with this knowledge. Why did he do this? Is my neighbor disgusted with the condition of my property, or just being a good neighbor? This is not someone I see very often, and I just don’t know how to process or react to the fact that someone in my neighborhood took it upon himself to clean up my little space. Should I mention it at all, put up a No Trespassing sign, or what?
Dear Neighbored:
For this first attempt at Neighborly Tidiness, think charitably of your neighbor’s impulse to lend you a little assistance without calling your attention to it. Your query certainly makes it sound like he didn’t ring your bell to give you a handful of scraps — or fling them in your face with a warning. But since he didn’t speak with you, it’s likely he would prefer not to discuss it. As Igor said in Young Frankenstein, “Say nothing. Act casual.”
You probably already know how to prevent this from happening again. The second attempt at Neighborly Tidiness needs to come from you — on your own property. Start making a weekly inspection and collecting your own bits of “ephemera” so other neighbors don’t feel the need to pitch in. Since Arbor Day is April 29 this year*, you might also consider giving little seedlings or potted plants or some such to this neighbor and other neighbors in his radius. That might be an indirect way to express thanks as well as your own commitment to take better care.
Further suggestions on neighborly interactions can be found in this excellent post, “8 Favors to Ask Your Neighbor,” at The Art of Manliness. Etiquetteer wishes you Neighborly Cordiality as the spring approaches.
*Arbor Day is always observed on the last Friday of April.