A couple nights ago someone told Etiquetteer the (probably apocryphal) story about two ladies at a Newport luncheon back when there were ladies luncheons in Newport. The Established Newport Matron was dressed in conservative good taste, while the Arrival was hung with some serious diamond jewelry. The first, who Etiquetteer understands had been quite restrained until then, couldn’t keep herself from saying “You know it’s really not in the best of taste to wear diamonds at lunch.” “Yes, I thought so, too,” responded the Arrival, “until I had some.”
Ha ha, that’s funny — everybody loves a Snappy Comeback! — but neither of these Newport Ladies comes out well. It’s never really Perfectly Proper to criticize a total stranger publicly that way, to begin with; that Established Newport Matron knew better than that. But preening and Showing Off isn’t Perfectly Proper either. So let’s review (again, briefly) just what’s what about diamonds.
Etiquetteer tends to stick with the traditional rule that diamonds should only be worn after 5:00 PM, excepting engagement and wedding rings, which are always Perfectly Proper. Beforehand, a lady’s generosity to the Annual Fund is more likely to be questioned. Coco Chanel’s rule should be followed: put on everything you think is right, then take one piece off. You might relax this restraint only if you are going to a ball.
As a general rule, when you wake up in the morning, you should ask yourself these three questions:
What do I have on my schedule today?
What diamonds do I have, and when and where would they look most Perfectly Proper?
Was I reincarnated as Queen Mary during the night?
If the answer to the last question is “No,” then some restraint is in order regardless of how you answer the first two questions. No one could, or can, get away with wearing as many diamonds at once as Queen Mary — including her mother-in-law, Queen Alexandra.
Emily Post gives the best definitive advice in the first edition of Etiquette: “Don’t wear too much jewelry; it is in bad taste in the first place, and in the second, is a temptation to a thief.” Etiquetteer wishes you both joy and Perfect Propriety in the wearing of your diamonds.