"Art isn't easy." — Stephen Sondheim
"All response is valid." — Zippy the Pinhead (unverified)
Dear Etiquetteer:
Why do so many people think that they can tell an artist that they don't like their work, when the artist never asked for their opinion?
Why do so many people think it's perfectly acceptable to tell an artist that they should do something differently? If you like the art, appreciate it. If you want something specific from the artist, commission them. If you don't like the art, move along! Why do you need them to know you don't like it?
I guess a more practical way to ask this question is, how can an artist rebuff unsolicited critique in a public setting without coming off as just as rude as the person who feels entitled to express their unsolicited opinion?
What can an artist do when a patron won't believe the artist is behind the work they see? This was a real thing that happened to me, the most sexist encounter of my life.
Dear Artist:
Etiquetteer offers you sincere sympathy, having had to say "That's not what I meant" several times. It feels frustrating to receive criticism that blindly misses our intentions*.
But Art is created to be seen and to provoke a response. "Everyone's a critic," as the old saying goes, and there's no guarantee that viewers will see the same things an artist does in his or her work. Sometimes this is helpful to the artist, illuminating new interpretations and ideas. Often, when it's only "I don't like that" or "That's nasty!" it doesn't. And sometimes how people express themselves exposes what a limited idea they have of Art in the first place. The incomparable Ruth Draper satirized the type vigorously in her wonderful monologue “At an Art Exhibition.”
Responding in a Perfectly Proper way to unwanted criticism requires patience, but not prolonged engagement. Depending on your level of interest you can say as little as "Thank you" (add as much or as little ice to your tone as you please) or something noncommittal like "Hmm, yes, that would change the overall look of the piece." Etiquetteer thinks it wise to refrain from snark, such as asking "Then why are you even here?" or similar questions**. It never helps.
As to your final question, Etiquetteer cannot imagine anything more insulting to an artist than being told that they didn't create their own artwork. The only possible response Etiquetteer can think of is "Then we have nothing else to discuss. The door is over there."
One final thought: it might be amusing, provocative, or something to mount a paper shredder on the wall near the door, with a wastebasket under it, and label it INSERT CRITICISM HERE. Provide a table with a little stack of cards and pencils . . . or not***.
Etiquetteer will be most interested to hear from artists and gallerists about their own experiences with unwanted criticism.
*The corollary for public speakers is the completely off-topic question during the Q&A period.
**You’ll know exactly what to think depending on how they answer the question “What artists do you admire?”
***Oh dear, that’s not a Perfectly Proper suggestion at all.