Late in the spring, after an Instagram post* of a couple warning signs for dogs, Etiquetteer was surprised to learn that the Helpful Phrase “Curb your dog” is not universally understood to mean, well, curb your dog. This rather bugs Etiquetteer, because so many signs for dogs and their people have become so . . . so . . . so explicit. Yes, yes, freedom of speech and all that . . . but really!
Let’s start with what the word “curb” actually means. Trot over to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, and under the noun “curb,” the third definition is what we’re looking for: “Check, restraint.” So to curb one’s dog means to restrain it, to keep it in check, preferably with a leash. Now look under the verb “curb,” and the third definition meets our needs even more specifically: “To lead (a dog) to a suitable place (such as a gutter) for defecation.” Other writers have also written about the origins of “curb your dog,” and Etiquetteer very much recommends looking over what Pain in the English and Dogs and Clogs have to say about it.
In practice, “Curb your dog” means three things: a) to keep control of your dog’s behavior, preferably with a leash, b) to control where your dog performs its Bodily Functions, and c) to dispose of any resulting Solid Waste in a responsible and Perfectly Proper way. Sadly, signs are needed because Bad Dog Owners** constantly demonstrate that they do not care how their dog’s, and therefore their own, behavior impacts others.
The most Perfectly Proper signage uses just “Curb your dog,” or at least directs Doggie Behavior without the use of vulgarities. This is a wonderful example; Etiquetteer awards bonus points for the use of “Please.”
Riverside Drive, New York
Eliciting the sympathy of dog owners for your plants is also Perfectly Proper.
Suburban Massachusetts
Provincetown, Massachusetts.
We then move into more explicit examples, which Etiquetteer just can’t find Perfectly Proper. Someone near that Riverside Drive sign pictured above felt the need to use a vulgarity as well as an image of the Prohibited Function. This should not be necessary.
One of Etiquetteer’s Dog-Owning Friends has suggested that adding images to these signs only encourages dogs to emulate what they see in the images. (Doggies perhaps do not understand the 🚫 symbol yet.) And there may be something to that; just two weeks ago Etiquetteer witnessed a dog with a Bad Dog Owner imitating this warning sign just two feet away from it.
So maybe this isn’t the best idea?
This example includes the best and the worst. The image of the Good Dog Owner with the Obedient Dog and the courteous reminder to Be Respectful couldn’t be more Perfectly Proper, but it would be nicer with “Curb your dog” instead of the Specific References.
Finally, here’s Etiquetteer’s very favorite, “Good Neighbors Curb Their Dogs.” All the elements exude Perfect Propriety: good language, an image of a Good Doggie, and a Gentle Appeal to the better angels of dog owners.
New York, New York
Etiquetteer would very much like to acknowledge all the Good Dog Owners out there who are doing such a good job with their Good Doggies. They make everything more Perfectly Proper for all of us.
*You are following Etiquetteer on Instagram, yes?
**Remember dahlings, there are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners.