Dear Etiquetteer:
Interesting question came up today from some friends throwing a (nearly) post-pandemic party in an indoor/outdoor space. They would like to write something on the invitation saying something along the lines of "If you are not vaccinated, please wear a mask, and weather permitting, please remain outside." Without appearing rude. How best to phrase?
Dear Invited (or Not):
The solution to this issue lives in the creative tension between Hospitality and Safety. Hosts, of course, have a responsibility to make their guests feel comfortable and safe. Varied vaccination status and eligibility* makes that challenging. The honesty and goodwill of the guest list directly impacts everyone’s party experience.
Etiquetteer has some anxiety about creating an us vs. them atmosphere. Unvaccinated guests could easily see interior spaces as a VIP Room they’re not good enough to enter — not a happy feeling to inspire in people being invited over for a good time. And then, what's the rain plan? If the weather turns bad, do the hosts admit unvaccinated guests into the house with masks, or send them home? Etiquetteer would actually advise limiting the party to the outdoor space, reserving inside for bathroom access and bad weather only.
Here’s some sample language that might work: "We are so eager to see everyone after such a long time apart during the pandemic quarantine! We also know that, while pandemic restrictions are lifting, not everyone has been vaccinated, and some are still anxious about returning to ‘normal’ parties. To accommodate everyone and create as safe an atmosphere as possible, we’re keeping the party outside, but please bring a mask to wear indoors where the restrooms are — or throughout the party if that’s more comfortable for you. Please reach out to us in advance if you have questions or concerns."
At bare minimum, your friends need to acknowledge that everyone just wants the pandemic to be OVER and that we're in a transitional phase of activity because not everyone has gotten (or been able to get) the vaccine. You may also include your guests in the safety plan by asking them to share their vaccination status with their reply, if they wish.
Another strategy to make planning less fraught: before issuing invitations, query your guest list to ask just how comfortable people are right now with larger gatherings, indoor parties, masklessness, etc. Something like “We’re thinking about having our usual summer party again, and we want to do it so everyone feels safe. But we’re not sure just how ready everyone is to return to What We Remembered As Normal. Could you let us know how you’re feeling and, if you feel OK about it, sharing your vaccine status?” How people respond will help tailor the guest lists so that like-minded people can be entertained together at a bigger party, and those who still have concerns about larger groups can be welcomed at another time.
The CDC event guidelines will be helpful for future event planning in this transitional phase. And the June 17 CDC guideline for fully vaccinated people is here. With all that said, Etiquetteer is still cautiously in favor of smaller than larger events, and definitely keeping things as al fresco as possible for the time being.
Etiquetteer wishes your friends, and you and their other guests, a happy occasion — or occasions — full of Perfect Propriety.
*As of this writing, children under the age of 12 are not eligible for the vaccine. Check here for current vaccine eligibility in your state.