There’s no use denying that the greatest etiquette writers, the most enduring, have been women. Before Women’s History Month ends, Etiquetteer wants to salute the ladies to whom Etiquetteer refers the most.
MILLICENT FENWICK, author of Vogue’s Book of Etiquette. No detail of service escapes Mrs. Fenwick, and her writing style is more direct and less rambling than other writers, which means fewer details escape us.
LETITIA BALDRIGE, author of New Manners for New Times and A Lady, First, among others. Tish Baldrige made a trailblazing career in the worlds of diplomatic protocol and public relations, and she did it with incredible verve. Her advice for thoughtful living is based on her own vivid life experiences, and her mistakes.
JUDITH MARTIN, author of Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior and many other books. Brisk and no-nonsense Miss Manners loves language and humor as much as manners. Reading her books, Etiquetteer can often picture the twinkle in her eye.
EMILY POST, grandmother of all American etiquette writers, author of Etiquette. We often think of etiquette writers as being stuffy by definition, but Mrs. Post took advanced-for-her-time positions in favor of divorce and Alcoholics Anonymous. Her stories of Best Society, peopled by the Gildings, the Worldlys, the Onceweres, the Oldnames, Mr. Clubwin Doe, and Mrs. Toplofty, glow like pearls for Etiquetteer, and continue to teach us how to be gracious and correct.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, author of Eleanor Roosevelt’s Book of Common Sense Etiquette. We think of her first and foremost as a First Lady in constant motion, but she was also a talented and perceptive writer. Raised in the formal traditions of the upper class. Mrs. Roosevelt blended them with basic human kindness to give us a blue print for common sense good manners.
AMY VANDERBILT, author of Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Gracious Living. To Etiquetteer, Mrs. Vanderbilt’s great innovation in etiquette writing was recognizing the growing diversity of America. Her chapters on interfaith interactions and new immigrants are unique for the era. And she even has a brief section on paying off gambling debts!
LILLIAN EICHLER, predecessor of Emily Post and author of Today’s Etiquette. Ms. Eichler communicates with more brevity than Mrs. Post, which is often more helpful. With her chapters on bridge parties and debutantes, she presents a wonderful picture of mid-century middle class life in America.
LUCY LETHBRIDGE, author of Servants. Guess what? We’ve been doing the servant thing all wrong! Ms. Lethbridge’s excellent research illustrates the rise and fall of Condescension among employers, and how it doesn’t really help to treat the servants like you’re starring in Upstairs, Downstairs or Downton Abbey.
DOROTHY DRAPER, author of Entertaining Is Fun! and Decorating Is Fun! Mrs. Draper is — how to say this? — whimsical to the point of derangement at times, but never really incorrect . . . just brightly colored and brightly coordinated. Entertaining correctly but without being stuffy is her forte, and Etiquetteer loves her for it.
SALLY QUINN, author of The Party. Decades of experience giving and going to parties in Washington, DC, make Ms. Quinn an authority on what works in that rarefied environment. This book is a rich example of what works, and how to save difficult situations. (Never let guests switch the placecards.)
AMY ALKON, author of Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck. A bracing gust of profanity through the halls of etiquette, Ms. Alkon is not someone to consult about how to place the forks on the dinner table, but is a genius in dealing with noisy neighbors and passersby — and many other pitfalls never even considered by Mrs. Post. And they are definitely things we need to know how to handle!
Etiquetteer encourages you to get to know all these women and their books. They are all worthy of your time, attention, and appreciation.