The internet declared February 10 to be National Umbrella Day, which of course makes it Perfectly Proper to go over a few points of umbrella etiquette.
When not in use, an umbrella should be held vertically close to your body by its handle. This is why Etiquetteer likes an umbrella with a hooked handle; it can be hung on one’s wrist and (mostly) forgotten. Holding it horizontally by the middle is a passive-aggressive way of hogging the space around you.
It’s not a sword, dear, and you’re not in The Three Musketeers, Camelot, or Spamalot.
What is supposed to happen when two umbrellas approach each other on a rainy sidewalk? At least one of them is going to have to “give ground” by rising a foot or two in the air to prevent a collision. It might as well be you; Etiquetteer doesn’t fancy a game of Umbrella Chicken when everyone is already preoccupied with staying dry in the rain.
A wet umbrella is one of the more awkward things to carry when arriving at someone’s home. It’s courteous to give it a good shake outside before entering, to reduce the runoff. Hosts should have a Perfectly Proper umbrella stand, or even just a plain old bucket in an emergency, near the front door.
Days of rain and wind are fatal to umbrellas. Perhaps you, like Etiquetteer, have had an umbrella “tulip” on you and completely invert? Sometimes it’s possible to position it in the wind so that it will gust back into shape, but usually not. If you end up with a broken umbrella in the rain, please don’t just throw it into the gutter with disgust. Find a trashcan and dispose of it properly.
It’s a cruel fact that the best umbrellas, the ones we love, always end up separated from us far too soon. Cast-off, slightly ratty, or broken but still functional umbrellas always seem to remain with us forever.
Arguably one of the most beautiful parasol demonstrations of the 20th century: Queen Elizabeth, when consort to George VI, photographed by Cecil Beaton. Another image here.
People sometimes mix up the terms “umbrella” and “parasol.” They have different purposes. Umbrellas* were designed to protect ladies against the rain. Parasols were designed to protect ladies against the sun; that means they aren’t always waterproof. In that respect the 19th century was the apogee of the parasol, and you need only look at some of the collection of Brandon McKinney, Parasol Restorer, on Facebook or Instagram to get an idea of what they were like.
And yes, that’s right — umbrellas were designed to be used by ladies. Gentlemen everywhere should be offering a toast* tonight to Jonas Hanway (1712-1786), the first man to use an umbrella, and who tolerated a lot of teasing and violence to do so. Just think, without Mr. Hanway, we’d never have ended up with Gene Kelly’s iconic music/dance masterpiece “Singin’ in the Rain.”
Jonas Hamway and his umbrella, paving the way for other gentlemen to keep dry.
*Umbrellas have an ancient and honorable history that includes many ceremonial and symbolic purposes. For this column Etiquetteer is really concentrating on the use of umbrellas in daily life since they were first introduced in Europe in the early 18th century.
**Whether that’s with a drink that has a little paper umbrella in it or not is entirely up to you.