If it’s October 10, that means it’s National Handbag Day, which Etiquetteer loves to observe with Edith Evans as Lady Bracknell. She, even more than Miss Prism, knew the value of a good, sturdy handbag, as well as its proper place. That might have been a coat tree, but it was never a family tree.
A Perfectly Proper handbag should be carried in such a way that it doesn’t get in anyone else’s way. That means holding it so that it remains parallel to your body, not perpendicular*. If you’re carrying it in your hand, that means just carrying it, not swinging it back and forth like Maria’s hamper in The Sound of Music. If you’re going to carry it on your elbow, that means inserting your arm through the handles from the outside in to keep your handbag close to you. Or from the inside out. Etiquetteer has tested out both methods with available tote bags, and it seems to depend on the handles. Most frustrating.
Lana Del Rey demonstrates the Perfectly Proper way to carry a handbag on one’s elbow.
A Perfectly Proper handbag can take you anywhere, but once you’re there, you can’t just put it down anywhere. Especially tabletops, whether in restaurants or conference rooms. If you need to get something from it, place it in your lap. Candace Smith over at Candace Smith Etiquette has even more ideas about where to position your handbag.
Organize the inside so you can get what you need with a minimum of fuss. Etiquetteer will never forget an opera performance at which a nearby woman spent most of the second act unzipping every secret pocket in her purse looking for a breath mint. That she was wearing more bangle bracelets than the entire chorus only contributed to the distraction.
Once upon a time there used to be wicker handbags for summer (brought out with the white shoes at Memorial Day), straw handbags acquired on tropical vacations, and luxurious leather handbags for day wear. Alligator bags always rank at the top of the Daytime Handbag Pyramid, but they need to turn into pumpkins at 5:00 PM. Alligators are not nighttime creatures.
Dear Grandmother’s evening bags from the 1920s.
Evening bags, of course, are much smaller and much showier. Originally they weren’t supposed to hold more than a lady’s handkerchief, house key, compact, lipstick, and “mad money.” It’s none of Etiquetteer’s business what a lady carries in her handbag day or night, though Etiquetteer understands that those small packets of paper tissues are often necessary. But since so many concert venues and other public places require people to empty out their bags on arrival, just be sure you aren’t carrying anything you wouldn’t want everyone to see.
The best advice about handbags Etiquetteer has been able to find, believe it or not, is from Polonius in Hamlet: “Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy.” Or, as that gnomish woman said in Unzipped in the 1990s, “Fussy, finished!” In other words, don’t stint on quality, get the best materials and workmanship you can afford, and don’t overdo it. Grace Kelly inspired perhaps the most classic handbag of the 20th century, followed closely by Jane Birkin. You can learn more about the Kelly Bag, the Birkin Bag, and other famous handbags here.
And if you’re in the mood for a new handbag but there’s just not a budget for it, tie a scarf onto the handle à la Babe Paley. What could be more Perfectly Proper?
*When you hold a handbag, you should be parallel. When you hold the floor, you should be perpendicular.