““Gabrielle has a cognac so old and precious that we keep it locked in a cabinet behind the piano.”
— from The Old Beauty, by Willa Cather
Since yesterday was National Liqueur Day, it makes sense to review the Perfectly Proper service of after-dinner liqueurs.
After a mid-century formal dinner, coffee, cigarettes, and liqueurs would all have been passed at the same time, coffee first — to the ladies in the drawing room, and to the gentlemen wherever they ended up: smoking room, study, or back in the dining room. Emily Post segregated beverages as well as genders. She noted that port and “especially fine cognac” would be served only to the gentlemen*, while the ladies would be offered no more than three liqueurs, decanted into small decanters on a tray with rows of little glasses. Mrs. Post suggested “The fashionable list includes cognac always, and two others: Chartreuse and Benedictine, or kümmel or green mint, or Cointreau.”
Millicent Fenwick is actually more helpful in her Vogue’s Book of Etiquette from 1948. While she notes that informal dinners don’t often include liqueurs, at formal dinners “they follow the coffee almost as inevitably as the coffee follows the dinner itself.” She notes that liqueurs might be served from their own bottles and not from decanters, but her list includes only five: brandy, crème de menthe**, Cointreau, Chartreuse, and “fruit brandies,” noting that cherry and apricot brandy were most popular. Please note that the glasses are not brought in pre-poured. Whoever is serving (the butler, or more likely the host now) pours after asking the guest’s choice.
In this century Etiquetteer doesn’t think we have to be quite so rigid in our choices, and yet it’s still a good idea not to offer more than two or three, and to consider only liqueurs that aren’t known mostly as cocktail ingredients. For instance, green crème de menthe is a traditional after-dinner liqueur, but blue Curaçao belongs only in the blender or a pousse-café.
Etiquetteer would suggest choosing two or three of the following for your after-dinner service: Averna, Benedictine, Chambord (a personal favorite), Chartreuse (green or yellow), cherry heering, Cointreau, crème de menthe (of course, but you’ll need to have shaved ice for the liqueur glasses), Drambuie, Fernet Branca, Frangelico, Grand Marnier, limoncello (especially if homemade), maraschino, and Sambuca (but only if you serve with three coffee beans.) Anything defined as a digestif may be served with Perfect Propriety as a liqueur. Etiquetteer discovered Becherovka while traveling and offers it from time to time.
But some liqueurs are best enjoyed as components of other beverages and not by themselves after dinner, at least in Etiquetteer’s opinion: absinthe (more an apértif), Aperol, any coffee liqueur (since coffee is also being served, unless Kahlua served in the coffee), crème de banana, crème de cacao, crème de cassis (really an apértif, and more often found in a Perfectly Proper kir with white wine), crème de coconut, crème de noyaux, crème de violette, Jagermeister***, Midori (the 1980s are over!), sloe gin, triple sec, etc. Basically, if you can’t imagine drinking it by itself, don’t serve it as a liqueur. A fairly comprehensive liqueur list may be found here at the Spruce Eats.
Etiquetteer’s list must inevitably conclude with possibly the most famous liqueur reference of the 20th century, Southern Comfort. Blanche DuBois correctly identified it as a liqueur (for all the good it did her, poor darling****), but you might say that Janis Joplin’s ahem open enjoyment of SoCo left it ahem not suitable for occasions demanding Perfect Propriety. When you have to drive your Chevy to the levee, pick up a bottle and drive responsibly.
But back to our formal dinner. Liqueurs are served in small glasses, but that doesn’t mean they should be tossed off in one snort. Savor them sip by sip. If you aren’t offered something you prefer, the correct response is “No thank you,” not “Do you have something else?”
And with that, allow Etiquetteer to wish you a beautiful, beautiful little dinner.
Janis Joplin hoisting her favorite liqueur. As Edward G. Robinson said in Double Indemnity, “Margie . . . I’ll bet she drinks from the bottle.”
*Fanny, the narrator of Nancy Mitford’s delightful Love in a Cold Climate, noted with chagrin that “the one good item of the whole menu, excellent vintage port,” was served to the gentlemen only after the ladies had retired. Etiquetteer calls this unjust to the ladies.
**The elderly Southern ladies of Etiquetteer’s childhood always had a bottle of green crème de menthe hidden away to serve over vanilla ice cream. Often there would be a bottle of Taylor sherry next to it . . . not to serve over vanilla ice cream.
***Although Jagermeister is a digestif, when Etiquetteer was much younger and in somewhat more scandalous company, Etiquetteer took a Jagermeister belly shot and never quite recovered from the experience. Let’s just call this a personal preference.
****In this famous clip, Vivien Leigh says “Southern Cheer,” but that is undoubtedly to avoid copyright or something tedious. The original script by Tennessee Williams definitely said “Southern Comfort.”