Etiquetteer is supposed to be a column about manners, about behavior, about how we use etiquette to get along in the world and make it a pleasant place to be. It’s comfortable to confine that discussion to weddings and tea parties and clothing and stationery, but that’s only the frosting on the etiquette cake. Last night Americans witnessed one of the greatest assaults on political courtesy ever broadcast, the first 2020 presidential debate. As deeply uncomfortable as it is, we cannot look away from it.
President Trump’s behavior is neither the behavior of a gentleman nor a leader. His contempt for his opponent, the moderator, the previously agreed rules of debate — indeed, his contempt for anyone or anything on that stage not himself — degraded America and any concept of American greatness. It makes Etiquetteer’s earlier writing on campaign etiquette appear downright quaint. There’s no need for Etiquetteer to say much; just watch the footage.
President Trump behaved like a bullying schoolyard gangster. His call for the P***d B**s to “stand back and stand by” made him look like he should be wearing a double-breasted pinstripe suit with exaggerated shoulder pads, tossing a roll of nickels in the air and saying “I’ve got some boys in the back who can make you say anything.” Ask yourself if you think that’s decent behavior. If you voted for him before, or plan to in 2020, ask yourself how well that behavior reflects on you. Accepting his behavior and supporting Trump with your vote indicates your comfort with anyone behaving that way. You will no longer have any grounds to criticize anyone else believably.
The motto of the United States, E Pluribus Unum, means “Out of many, one.” One nation, not one personality. We need to move on from every discussion being about One Big Personality and to return it to being about All Of Us. And we can’t even start to do that until One Big Personality is out of office. The words of Rose Sayer in The African Queen have never been truer: “Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put on this earth to rise above.” The candidate who is not rising above is President Trump. He needs to be voted out of office. We need to vote him out. We cannot look away any longer.