By this time it’s not news that video interaction has exploded due to the coronavirus confining us to our homes. All kinds of functions are conducted online now - including bodily functions, yikes! NOT Perfectly Proper! So something needs to be said.
Wiliam Hanson, the brilliant etiquette expert in Great Britain, has developed the perfect video tutorial for videoconferencing. Watch it right now, before you even continue reading this column. There really is no point in anyone else trying to make one; it is perfection.
But Etiquetteer will expand on one or two points that shouldn’t have to be made. First, the videoconference never ever enters the bathroom. By now everyone has heard about “Poor Jennifer,” the Zoom videoconference in which a participant is seen walking down a hall, turning into her bathroom, and dropping trou to sit on the porcelain throne*. Nobody needs to know that much about you, especially in the workplace. If you need to Perform a Bodily Function, behave as you would in your office meeting room: leave and go to the restroom. And if anyone should rudely call attention to your absence, you can just say you were washing your hands. Never has a euphemism responded better to a cultural moment.
Next, unless your office has a clothing-optional dress code, be fully clothed for your videoconference. “Don’t be a ‘Ben’ while working from home!” this Facebook video from John French declares. This is decidedly a NSFW video, as you can see all of a man who must not have known he was in a video conference. It’s sort of a running gag now, “Oh, I only have to dress up from the waist up for a video!” Let Etiquetteer firmly say NO to that. Even if you’re not fully dressed (but you should be) you need to be fully covered.
The overarching theme here, as you might have guessed: always assume your video camera is on. If you believe the only way you can’t be seen is to cover your camera with a Post-it or a bit of duct tape, do that.
Before the videoconference begins, know the technology. Finding a platform in which all invited guests can participate leads to challenges; everyone in a workplace shares a tech platform (presumably), but socially it’s a bit of a minefield. Facetime, for instance, isn’t a possibility for people not on an Apple platform - and that’s only one example. Etiquetteer made a spectacular fail out of a Google Hangout champagne videoconference last weekend by not understanding that all the participants needed to be in Google Contacts (or whatever it’s called) before the start of the conference. Proof that you don’t know what you don’t know. An epic fail for one who is supposed to be Perfectly Proper all the time! A dress rehearsal in advance with the most knowledgeable participant will help guarantee a promptly begun and smoothly run video gathering**. One possible resource is here at BroadbandSearch.
Lastly, something has to be done about the windbags. Etiquetteer was video chatting with a Dear Friend recently who participates in many professional video conferences. Dear Friend noted that a lot of Prolific Talkers miss visual cues they’d be more likely to see around a conference table to shut up. If you’re a windbag, time yourself. If you can’t make your point in three minutes or less, be prepared to cede the floor. Moderators and meeting organizers need to be specially deft at monitoring speaking times, and soliciting feedback from more silent participants.
Etiquetteer wishes you many smoothly run meetings and gatherings on video for the duration of the pandemic!
*And who on earth put this video on the internet in the first place?! Definitely not Perfectly Proper. “Poor Jennifer” could perhaps sue for defamation of character.
**Special thanks to Dear Cousin Dottie for serving as Directrice of Google Hangouts.