Did you see in The New York Times this morning about the new surge in coronavirus cases around the country? People are not going to like this, but it means that the winter holidays — Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, and Kwanzaa — will not be able to go on as usual. This is going to be a painful blow to many of us who just want to get back to normal life after a year of unprecedented trials. We have to start thinking about this now.
SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO?
Fortunately, the CDC already has, and has posted some very helpful information about hosting and attending holiday gatherings*. And while the CDC notes that outdoor events are a lesser risk than indoor events with good ventilation, and indoor events with good ventilation are a lesser risk than indoor events with poor ventilation, Etiquetteer is certainly not ready to recommend an indoor holiday gathering. This is an opportunity to turn the traditional Great Feast in the old famliy dining room into a brunch or lunch al fresco** with a large circle of individual tray tables. What a wonderful opportunity to give everyone matching lap robes or monogrammed Snuggies!
Some emotional decisions are going to be made about whether and how to travel for the Great Feasts. The winter holidays all come with a lot of expectations about who will be there. And let’s face it, Tradition is reassuring, and we need some reassurance right now! We also need to keep our own desires from turning Christmas into a superspreader event, “the gift that keeps on giving” indeed.
How these decisions get made is going to involve people being very candid about their level of risk and comfort. Etiquetteer noted earlier in the pandemic that “we’re all going to have to get a lot more comfortable with having our behavior questioned by strangers in public, and with questioning the behavior of others to protect our health.” We’ll now have to put that to the test with those we love most dearly. If you have doubts about safety, Etiquetteer will absolutely allow you to stay home.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
If you feel disappointed at missing in-person interaction with your loved ones, Etiquetteer wants to encourage you to go ahead and feel those feelings, but not to make them a conversational motif. Everyone else is hurting, too, and you don’t need to harsh everyone’s buzz.
By now many more people are comfortable with video technology, and it will be less controversial to have a Zoom gathering for the Holiday of Your Choice. Zoom Passover back in April could be considered a successful test run for all of us to emulate now. Be patient with those who are unfamiliar with*** technology. A dress rehearsal earlier will help considerably.
Another thing: start your holiday shopping and shipping a lot earlier. For instance, start last week! Spreading out the shipping and delivery load overall will increase the chances that Santa won’t be late and that you’ll be able to find what you want. (Look for Etiquetteer’s gift guide soon.)
In the last 100 years or so New Year’s Eve has always been emphasized. But now it’s time for New Year’s Day to make a comeback. Let’s think about how we can make that happen.
Etiquetteer wishes you Strength and Patience approaching the Most Wonderful Time of the Year during these Very Challenging Circumstances. Don’t hesitate to reach out out Etiquetteer if you need help!
*Etiquetteer wants you to read this right away.
**One would think Men Who Grill would love this innovation.
***Read: scared of and/or angry about.