Brief Words on Summer Clothes for Ladies, Vol. 8, Issue 21

Even though Labor Day is licking at the heels of Etiquetteer's meticulous white bucks, it's not too late to say a few well-chosen words about Summer Clothes:  

  • Ladies always wear matching lingerie. This is doubly important when wearing a gauzy white sundress. And if you're wearing a gauzy white sundress and Etiquetteer can tell you have on a blue brassiere and navel-eclipsing white underpants, you're doing it wrong. Etiquetteer vigorously recommends a white slip!
  • Nothing makes a lady look more like a slattern than a visible bra strap. For heaven's sake, either sew a loop into the straps of your dress into which to thread your bra strap or wear a strapless bra. And if you're wearing a "wife-beater" style tanktop, just go right back home and change. You're no lady.
  • Black is slimming, but not if a) you have steatopygic buttocks, b) the black you have on is tights or stirrup pants, and c) you're wearing a crop top.
  • If whatever you're wearing tells the world you haven't had a bikini wax lately, you're WAY underdressed.

 

Really, it's a pity more ladies don't take after the wardrobes of Charlotte Greenwood in Down Argentine Way (Travis Banton) or Barbara Stanwyck in Titanic (Dorothy Jeakins). But Etiquetteer can dream, can't he . . . 

Etiquetteer welcomes all your queries on manners at queries_at_etiquetteer_dot_com.