July 20-21, 2019 - Heat Wave Weekend

1) Way back in the summer of 1977 we took our “Roots” trip to meet Mother’s family (long story for another time). The day we started our return trip, ferociously hot, we stopped at the home of Mother’s Uncle Bob to say farewell. This was the first time I’d ever been to a Land with No Air-Conditioning, so I was very surprised when we climbed the long flight of stairs up to his front porch to find, stretched out on a plastic chaise longue, this octogenarian man wearing only a bright red pair of Jockey briefs with white piping.

1a) I have now become that Old Man in Underwear, as there is almost nothing better in the summer than to sit on my back porch in the very early morning for my first cup of coffee and devotional. It’s still cool then.

2) Speaking of devotional, Jeremiah 7. Wow! Substitute “Trump” for “Baal” and you have quite an indictment. Jeremiah 7:9-10: “Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto [Trump], and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?” Read the whole chapter.

3) Yesterday morning I trudged through the morning heat to run errands, most particularly to collect from the framers Mother’s sketch portrait from her college years. So happy to have it done, but this is not the weekend to be toting things about in the heat.

4) Beat the heat at the MFA with Craig, including a swish luncheon near the Chihuly tower of lime icicles, Toulouse-Lautrec, Renaissance painting, jewelry, musical instruments, and Jackson Pollock.

5) This time of year I continually congratulate myself for installing central air in 2003 when I moved in, “to be true to my Southern heritage.” That makes it easy to forget how people kept cool before air conditioning, like soaking in a cold tub. I added that to my prevention of overheating yesterday, and it was invigorating.

6) Today hang-drying all the laundry on the back porch. It’s not just saving energy, it also takes less time.

6a) Did you, as a young child, run through clean damp sheets that your mother hung on a clothesline? Happy memories . . .

Thursday Morning, July 18 - Tech Issues

1) Last night, to my horror, I found out that some friends put a photo of me through that ye FyceYppe everyone’s talking about - without my permission. So aside from the fact that the Russkies know everything about me now, what’s horrifying is the strong resemblance to my father and recognition of one of my cousins. The relief, of course, is that my hair is still all there. And it looks fabulous.

1a) This technology could be used for so much evil. Isn’t it bad enough they already have all our credit info after the Yquifyxxe hacking?

2) Also last night, I began to set up an account on ye Instygrymme for the first time, which one would think would be very very simple since the entire world is already on it successfully. WRONG! First, error messages about my username already being in use, and then, after surmounting that hurdle, the error message that the email address was already being used on another account. Attempts to get a lost password email at those addresses were met with a “No users known” error message. A friend found the right page on their help menu to send a message; THAT came back with “The requested page cannot be found.” I really have no idea what to do next.

2a) Mercury must be retrograde. What other explanation could there be?

3) At least the coffee maker works. :-)

Saturday, July 13 - Four Tracks

Two weeks to go of Traditional Gainful Employment, three weeks until my departure for England. I’m running four parallel tracks of activity, with varying degrees of success:

PROFESSIONAL: I’m unable to hide that I’m counting the days - in fact, I’m not even trying. There will be volunteer committee meetings, reports, and budgets to deal with right up to the end - as well as special meetings off campus to introduce colleagues to long-time vendors, debrief lunches, and drinks. And cleaning out my office! I’ve already started taking things home - mostly framed photographs. I’ll be there for awhile on Sunday to wrap up some materials for a Monday meeting; this is not a complaint, especially as I spent Friday at home.

DOMESTIC: My home is starting to take shape again. Friday the nice furniture man came to repair my grandmother’s bed. We discovered that there was some old damage - older than that inflicted by the movers - but the additionl of a couple L brackets where no one will see them should stabilize it. So for the first time in two months, I can move back into my room.

The white hydrangea planted as a parting gift by the original third floor neighbors eight years ago doubled in size this spring. I harvested some of the blooms today, and they fill rooms with a faint, sweet scent.

The cabinet was left behind in the first home my parents owned after their marriage. The vases were my grandmother’s veiled in shadows on a high obscure shelf in her den. I always knew they should be more in the spotlight.

VACATION: My August vacation comes in four parts: a) two days in London, b) a week in Kenilworth with friends (the same ones who hosted me in Hull in 2013), c) crossing from Southampton to New York aboard the Queen Mary II, and d) three days in New York to see museums and friends. I am far behind in my usual pre-trip research! Only last week started to reread the marvelous John Malcolm Brinnin history The Sway of the Grand Saloon, and today managed to find at ye Bryttle Books The Quest for Queen Mary, which is all about James Pope-Hennessy’s research and interviews for her biography. Already it’s proving to be quite entertaining. And I still need to dig out Promenade Deck, a 1920s novel about a world cruise that I got in P’town a few years ago because I liked the dust jacket.

i really ought to review my crossing documents (so much more practical) and consider how/when/if to dine in one of the specialty restaurants, book a treatment in the spa, or (saints preserve us) sign up for a dance class. Some friends have become very interested in the ship and my trip, and discovered this photo album of the Veuve Clicquot lounge on board. Another dug up this article from 2013 in the NYT.

There must also be viewings of Doris Day’s Romance on the High Seas, of course!

CREATIVE: You’d think I’d pay more attention to my creative life, since I’m giving up my day job to devote myself to it. I’m plotting and planning, not writing as much as I’d like. I’ve begun research for my September 17 talk at the Gibson House. More conversations need to happen!

Tuesday Morning, July 9

1) Between 4:40 and 6:18 AM I ended up falling unexpectedly into deep sleep, after roughly five hours of getting up every hour. It was beautiful.

2) Yesterday was the first day of my last three weeks at ye Instytytte; one down, 14 to go. On the way home I tried to get myself organized in my mind, realizing that I have four activity tracks in the next four weeks:

• Professional: There is so much to wind down, so much institutional memory to share, and some volunteers who need a lot of managing before I go. The office feels very much like it’s in a state of transition, and not just for me.

• Vacation: If my last day at the office is in three weeks, then the first day of my Big English Vacation is in four weeks! I’ve barely done any of my usual research. I need a new waistcoat to wear with my black tie, one that doesn’t make me look like a satin sack of something. And I need to firm up some other arrangements. Only yesterday I started rereading The Sway of the Grand Saloon, John Malcolm Brinnin’s magnificent history of scheduled transatlantic travel.

• Creative: Oh right, I’m leaving my job to pursue my creative endeavors full time (and monetize them)! Aside from needing to get back on a twice-weekly schedule of columns, I need to launch another social media account, ramp up research for my talk September 17, buy a printer, firmly establish a home office in the study, and figure out how to handle some domain and other tech issues.

• Domestic: The nice man is coming to repair Gramma’s bed on Friday. I’m living in a perpetual rummage sale and must at least move the boxes of stuff to sell into the basement. Plus I need to initiate some condo association business, now that the second floor is for sale. At this point I’m indisputably the dean of the building (this entirely honorary title based solely on length of ownership and residence), but now I’m also running it. On the plus side, benign neglect of our shrubbery is bringing back the vine of orange trumpet flowers I loved so when we all moved in.

3) To my delight, yesteday the new neighbors bought my Haviland china - the china that had been given me by the One Man I Could Call an Ex, the only china I have that isn’t family china. They are a really nice young couple, and I expect they will have some happy occasions using it. And I am pleased to have a handful of cabbage instead of a tax-deduction letter from a thrift shop.

Sunday, July 7 - Provincetown, Day Last

1) Awake early, quite naturally, and off to Liz’s Café for breakfast after a cup of coffee. The morning was definitely cooler than the rest of the weekend - a welcome drop in temperature.

2) Packing! Bits of chatter with housemates, and then I headed to the East End on a special errand. It’s rare for me to go further east than ye Kylye Courte Gallery, but since my destination didn’t open until 11 I ended up as far as the Eastern Schoolhouse (now galleries or something). Such a different vibe in the East End! Quieter, and more floral.

3) And my special errand? Puchasing a painting in a gallery for the first time since 2003. On my Saturday afternoon gallery excursion I happened on the works of Kurt Walters, including his Dessert Series of men and women from around the world presenting desserts of their cultures (or not). My selection was “Pastelitos,” and I’m afraid I squealed when the gallerist brought it out for me to examine. Later, researching the artist at home, I discovered “Apple Crumble” from the same series; alas, it had already sold.

4) With a well-wrapped painting under my arm, I walked swiftly and sweatily back to Hochmina-sur-Mer to finish packing, say farewell to my hosts, and head out.

5) An informal tradition of mine is to go to Mayflower Dining on Comical Street for lunch before the ferry. It’s definitely Old Provincetown! Gin and tonic, Portuguese kale soup, and lobster club sandwich.

6) A lengthy wait for the ferry due to my ridiculously early arrival - but really, who wants to wander about town with an anvil on wheels? And I was fairly absorbed in finishing Olivia de Havilland: Lady Triumphant.

7) In spite of the super sold-out crowd on board, the return trip was so uneventful I fell asleep.

8) An odd domestic detail: we have two rain chains in front of the house flanking the balcony columns. On returning home I noticed a morning glory vine winding through one of them - a recipe for disaster if allowed to continue. I took five minutes to root it out and unwind it. Morning glory is not ivy, but it could be destructive if unchecked.

9) Now . . . sweet mercy goodness, I have three weeks left of gainful employment at ye Instytytte, which means I have four weeks until my departure for Europe!

Saturday, July 6 - Provincetown, Day Four

1) Really, nothing of importance happened until noon, when Hochmina and Martin and I went off to a luncheon party at Andy and Robert’s down the street. We were eight for a hearty meal of magnificent baby back ribs, baked potatoes, some sort or vegetable business, and watermelon and cookies.

1a) Afterward we swam in the pool and generally lazed about until shortly after 3 PM, when I realized that I’d have very limited time to tour the galleries. On the whole, a deliciously successful party.

2) It’s been a long, long time since I got excited about a living painter, but I got excited about Kurt Walters while viewing his work in an East End gallery. I’ll be coming home for the first time since 2003 with a work of art from Provincetown.

3) A whisper after 5 PM saw me arrive at the Accommodation for cocktails. I arrived with “open arms and many apologies,” as Dashiell Hammett wrote in “The Thin Man.” “We are shockingly late, Mrs. Dalloway. We hardly dared ring the bell!” I said (not quoting Dashiell Hammett) to my dear friend Dahling - who, knowing I write a column about manners, is sometimes eager to twit me on my frequent lapses in Perfect Propriety. :-) He and I and H enjoyed a lovely cocktail hour á trois chatting about many things over some lethal aviation cocktails.

4) A storm was a’brewin’, and I departed (after helping to store the lawn furniture) to beat the raindrops, arriving at Hochmina-sur-Mer just as they started to fall. l actually carried a glass of red (!) sparkling wine out to the terrace to experience the early rainfall.

5) Now, hours later, after a hazy period of house chat and dinner, I write at the kitchen table under a lamp listening to a documentary about Penn Station that Hochmina is watching. I feel wonderful, and wish I didn’t have to return to town tomorrow. But this weekend has been simply wonderful - and it’s not over yet!

Friday, July 5

1) I was the third person in the door when Liz’s Café opened and I very much enjoyed a smoked salmon omelette, coffee, and the gleam in the waiter’s eye while continuing with Olivia de Havilland’s biography.

2) Beach day! I arrived at Herring Cove about 11 and left shortly after 5. Much of it was like being in part of a comic strip story a couple friends did many years ago (that I cannot find on the internet, alas) called “The Trouble with Twinkies.” In it, a remote space station manned by two astronauts picks up an emergency signal from a small spacecraft. They connect to it, and a slim blond twinkie enters searching for a cosmo. The next thing you know the space station is overrun with twinkies. The two lines I remember are “Our highly advanced communications network is now . . . a stereo system!” and “I’m not old. I’m 44!” (The latter to loud cackling from the twinkies.)

2a) Seriously, I was surrounded by young men (not in a good way) with dueling disco soundtracks for much of the afternoon. There were even party boats directly in front of my line of vision. I haven’t seen Herring Cove this crowded in years!

2b) With all that I did run into three or four friends, and did manage some amusing conversations. The boys from DC behind me, when I asked why they weren’t re Rehoboth, let me know exactly why Rehoboth doesn’t even compare to P’town. One of them was fascinated with my hippie bedspread beach throw (which I got at Shop Therapy years ago).

3) When I finally slogged back to Hochmina-sur-Mer, it was locked up tight, and I had to relax for just over an hour on the terrace with Olivia and a large bottle of water. The idea that I could even go into town as is - sweaty and nasty, clad in rags - simply could not be contemplated.

4) Four of us enjoyed a late dinner at ye Crownye Pointye. There was a delay in getting seated, and the manager was awfully nice about offering us a round of free drinks. I confess I was feeling remarkably mellow by the time dinner arrived and didn’t attend to the conversation as much as I should have.

Sur la plage.

July 3-4, 2019 - Highlights of Provincetown, Days 1 and 2

1) It will surprise no one that on Wednesday I got the pier a whisper before 8 AM for the 9 AM ferry - and I was not the first person in line. The trip is usually a solitary one for me unless I know people on board, so ending up in absorbing conversation for over an hour with a Gentleman of Close to My Age who shared my banquette started my day out right.

2) I took Hochmina to lunch at Tubular, where the town crier was actively going through his song-and-dance routine (a novelty for me) featuring “It’s a Grand Old Flag.”

The Town Crier during the July Fourth parade, still singing “Grand Old Flag.” Note the sign in the window at left.

3) Shopping! At my beloved Tim’s Used Books I found the perfect summer read, as I have so often. This summer it’s Olivia de Haviland: Lady Triumphant, a new biography.

4) A great big ol’ NAP.

5) In the evening we were nine around the table at Hochmina-sur-Mer for steak, grilled zucchini, pilaf, and conversation.

6) Independence Day proved that my rhythm is simply not P’town’s. I was irretrievably awake at 6:30 AM. And all I did with that time was futz around on the internet - nothing useful.

7) After browsing through some of the galleries, I ended up watching the Fourth of July parade from under a storefront awning in the East End. Lots of bunting, municipal vehicles, and heavy bass on the soundtrack.

8) One the housemates at Hochmina-sur-Mer told me that the frosé was passé, and that this season’s new cocktail was the fraperol at ye PyePye’s in the East End. So I ducked in there after the parade to sit at the bar for lunch. A fraperol is essentially a slushie made out of Aperol spritzes - and it’s heavenly.

8a) Y’know what else is heavenly? Their chocolate cream pie! Om nom nom.

9) I slept like the dead until well after 5 PM. I spent the early cocktail hour drinking ice water with Hochmina on the deck, in a state of complete contentment.

Mayor Pete!

10) After dinner, I sallied forth to see the fireworks. But first I ran into two different friends, neither of whom I’d seen in a very long time. The first was up for the day with a friend of his and the second had some surprising gossip for me. Let’s just say that professional change in the air much more widely that I’d thought!

11) Without even trying hard, i drifted among the crowd to the front of McMillan Pier and had a splendid view of the fireworks.

12) Now let’s see what happens between now and Sunday.

Independence Day 2019

1) I just finished my annual tradition of reading aloud the Declaration of Independence. This is from 2017 - I just didn’t feel like filming this morning - but of course the text hasn’t changed. :-)

2) Go here for the text and read it aloud yourselves. It is a valuable and necessary experience to hear the words spoken.

3) Wishing you all a safe, beautiful Fourth of July!

Tuesday, July 2

1) I have to say, I’ve been enjoying #unwantedivanka so much I didn’t hear them call my number when my burrito was ready.

2) New business cards arrived last night.

3) Substitute “Provincetown” for “Hollywood,” and you’ve got my mood. Packing to take the early ferry tomorrow!

Monday, July 1

1) Big realization on my commute: this was the first day of my last month at ye Instytytte.

2) You know Mother taught me not to talk to strangers, but this morning’s bus commute turned into a big gab fest, first with two wholesomely attractive young heterosexual couples visiting from Tennessee, and then with a colleague from another branch of ye Instytytte.

3) An important package arrived in the mail this evening.

Sunday Midday, June 30

1) Last night, walking to Doyle’s with a friend after drinks chez moi, we were both taken short by the appearance of a young turkey atop the parking lot fence! My friend commented that my neighborhood must be going upscale, as turkeys were being seen in the best ‘hoods these days. One of them, I pointed out, was ye Hahvahde Business School.

1a) It was disconcerting to see a turkey a) suddenly and b) above eye level. Part of me expected to become part of a comic version of . . . of . . . oh, not the Exorcist, but that movie with that boy Damien born as successor to the Devil, and Lee Grant (!) getting eaten by a raven or something.

2) Half-lazy half-busy Sunday morning with both creativity and domesticity. Preparing to entertain the neighbors this evening.

3) I’ve got to get more focused in my reading! July 1914, interesting as it is, isn’t going to prepare me for my week in England, my QMII crossing, or my scheduled talk in September at the Gibson House, “Etiquette of the Brahmin Summer.”

Saturday Morning, June 29

1) A conference on campus caused me to abandon my usual routine. For three days I left the house at 7 AM to go to the east side of campus for conference events at which I had comparatively light duty as a human signpost, tour chaperone, and attendee. This was my last conference of this sort, which several colleagues observed. Conferees from other schools also expressed interest in my new plans, along with some helpful ideas.

1a) Notably, one of the tours I chaperoned was in ye Instytytte’s wind tunnel ca. 1940, which I’d never had occasion to visit in all my years here. Fun as that was, I had a historygasm recognizing original furniture from ye Byrkyre Engineering Library. WANT!

Those three Greek Revivial chairs and that slightly curved table in the background properly belong in the engineering library rotunda.

1b) The other routine I abandoned was checking into ye Fycebykke. I think I was off for over four days . . . and it was beautiful.

2) One 8 AM meeting had nothing to do with the conference. Over at ye Humynne Resources I got some important details about my future healthcare benefits.

3) July will begin with celebration of the Glorious Fourth down the Cape, and then be devoted to winding up my career at ye Instytytte, actively putting an effective, efficient home office into place; and preparing for my English vacation.

Sunday Midday, June 23 - Works in Progress

1) Yesterday I trotted off to the framers with a sketch portrait of Mother that we found in the back of the guest room closet. I have a tentative plan to turn the dining room in a Rogue’s Gallery of family portraits. We have no Romneys or Sargents, but I do have a fine childhood self-portrait of Oldest Nephew Who Must Not Be Tagged (that also needs to be reframed, come to think of it).

1a) This must have been done when she was in college at LSU. There’s something not quite right about her eyes, but I still like it a lot.

1b) John Singer Sargent famously exploded “A paughtrait is something that is not quite right about the mouth!” after a testy conference with the Sassoon family, who didn’t quite like his portrait of one of its ladies.

2) The enormity of my new venture presses on me as I make arrangements. I ordered business cards from ye Vystypryntte this weekend . . .

3) Two months ago today the movers arrived from the homeland, and you’d think it was just yesterday the way everything is heaped around here! I’ve got to arrange that blessed yard sale.

3a) But at least I was able to find a home for this beautiful photograph of my grandmother around the time of her confirmation (I suppose) in this Fauxbergé frame I gave Mother for Christmas one year (and which she didnt end up using).

Thursday Night, June 20

1) The activity of the day was conversation, mostly by phone. And the word of the day was “enervating.” There was a lot of active listening.

1a) Volunteers are finding out about my plans to leave, and for some of them it’s a real shock.

1b) Last year my New Year’s resolution was to become more comfortable with difficult conversations, especially around politics. And no, I’m still not good at that.

2) The estate sale started today. I have really and truly tried not to be a bother - my poor sister has enough to deal with - but I did weaken earlier this week and ask her to take two items out of the sale. Long story short, those two items didn’t sell today, and the agent is going to set them aside for me. I don’t deserve it, but I’m so grateful.

2a) Yesterday, before the announcement of my departure went public, I got a big envelope in the mail from my sister. I was expecting the legal documents that needed my signature. I was not expecting the packet of love letters my parents wrote each other in college, or the biographical sketches they wrote about themselves in their early 30s. Laura thinks the latter are from their attempts to adopt a child before I was born. It was an unexpected, and emotional, look at how my parents saw their early lives, their development as people, and their own relationship.

Early in his presentation.

3) In the early evening I attended a campaign event for Mayor Pete in the club room at Fenway Park. I wish I’d recorded everything both he, and Jack Connors, our host, had to say. After this enervating day, I felt a feeling of hope just watching a candidate who could behave like a gentleman. Whether he wins or not, I want him to play a larger part in the national discussion about the future of our nation.

3a) I’d been advised that a couple friends of friends were attending this event. I never found them, but a former office colleague was there with a friend, and we ended up talking for a bit at the start.

4) I was vibrating with fatigue by the time I got home. Oddly enough, I was sleeping fine before I gave my notice . . . but not now! :-/

Wednesday, June 19 - What? You're Doing WHAT?!

An announcement has been made at the office, so I’m now at liberty to share some news.

1) It’s been no secret for awhile that “Daddy needs a change” at the office. And it has become clearer to me over the last two years that, if change was going to come into my life, it wasn’t going to come at ye Instytytte.

1a) Looking back, I’ve spent a total of 19 years on reunions! I’ve been doing this so long I remember how we did it before the internet, before cell phones, when everything was triplicate carbonless paper forms and, if you had to get a message someplace, you walked there. Don’t you think I should be doing something else now?

2) Mother’s death in February also caused me to reevaluate a lot. She always regretted that she hadn’t written her book, which she intended to write up to the end. I told her more than once (in the nicest possible way) that I would not be writing her book - but I haven’t written my book yet, either.

2a) Mother’s first cardiac event took place at age 59. Her father died at age 57 of a heart attack. I found out at Mother’s funeral from my parents’ old friend Joe Miller that my grandfather, as a good Christian Scientist, would not allow them to put him in the ambulance to go to the hospital.

2b) I will be 56 in October.

3) So, I made the decision to leave MIT after 25 total years and spend my time instead on Etiquetteer.

3a) It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time! I feel like I have no blessed idea what I’m doing. But since the change was not coming to me, I brought the change to myself. ONWARD!

4) I’ve not only consulted some wise people around me (you know who you are, and thank you!), and unsurprisingly, the tarot. (You knew I read cards, didn’t you?) The first card to come up in the first reading, the Fool (see above), underscored the enormity of choice facing me. (The Fool always indicates that there’s a choice involved.) And the results of both readings made clear that for this venture to succeed, I actually have to do the work and not just sit around eating bonbons and playing online solitaire. It’s on me, baby!

5) Response so far has been surprised and supportive, with a tinge of shock. It seems that no one expected this possibility. I am very grateful that I have had so many wonderful people to work with in my time at ye Instytytte - truly a special group working to make beautiful experiences for alumni.

6) My “new life” will really begin in mid-August after I return from my trip to England on the Queen Mary II and have no office to return to but the one I create in my own home. In the meantime, there are all sorts of plans to flesh out.

7) WISH ME LUCK! This is a seismic change.

A Quick Primer on Marlene Dietrich

Texting with a friend earlier today, Marlene Dietrich came up as I’d just seen her famous white tie and tails in an exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. He asked “I assume she was a star?” The answer, of course, is “One of the greatest of her day, and she knew how to work her lighting!” While I am far from an expert on La Dietrich, I want to set forth a few aspects of her career that I love and enjoy.

First, Marlene was THE first woman to wear men’s evening clothes, which she did famously in Morocco (which I’ve never seen). This is the best footage I could find on YouTube.

The director Josef von Sternberg taught her everything she knew, especially about lighting. Their films together show to her marvelous advantage. A favorite of mine has always been Shanghai Express, which has the added advantage of including Anna Mae Wong, Warner Oland, and a fantastic ensemble cast.

Then there’s The Scarlet Empress of 1934 (not to be confused with The Rise of Catherine the Great, also of 1934), which is one mightily insane film. I gather it didn’t do well at the box office at the time. This scene of Catherine, ahem, “reviewing the troops” will give you an idea of her Marlene’s special quality.

During World War II she did a lot for the troops, and her song “Lili Marlene” became her theme song. She filmed in in the 1960s during her touring act.

After the war, one of her best film appearances was in A Foreign Affair, filmed in the ruins of Berlin. This scene with Jean Arthur is one of the best.

She sings “Illusions” in this film, which just electrifies me when I see it in the movie. Alas, the footage is no longer on YouTube!

One of my favorite Hitchcock films is Stage Fright, in which Marlene appears essentially as herself.

And this!

Tired Old Queen at the Movies gives a fab review of Stage Fright.

In her later years, she toured. When I was working at the Vendome in college, one of the “confirmed bachelors” who lived there told me that when he was young he saw her in concert. “The first five rows were filled up with sisters,” he told me, “but that night the sixth row was reserved just for her family, and she sang to them all night.”

This song, “Falling in Love Again,” was from her first film, The Blue Angel (which I just can’t bring myself to see. Downward trajectories bring me down.) But you can see why I forget which reviewer said that she was “pelted with shrubbery by epicene maniacs.”

So, that’s what I know about Marlene Dietrich. Go forth and explore on your own!

Thursday Morning, June 13

1) Yesterday afternoon while the team celebrated the end of Reunions in a pop-up wine bar on the Greenway, I suddenly said “I’ve been waiting for summer all this time, and now we’re in it!”

1a) But when you think about it, summer is 12 weekends - which means the time to take action is NOW. Later I remembered this passage from Gone With the Wind: “[Scarlett] saw a long vista of picnics by the bubbling waters of Peachtree Creek and barbecues at Stone Mountain, receptions andballs, afternoon danceables, buggy rides and Sunday-night buffet suppers. She would be there, right in the heart of things, right in the center of a crowd . . .”

1b) I was able to continue the theme on Boston Spirit magazine’s annual harbor cruise for Fenway Health, at which I was able to reconnect with a few folks I haven’t seen in ages and enjoy being out on the harbor on a perfect evening.

2) Beginning a four-day weekend of rest and rejuvenation today.

3) Peonies are blooming at last. Mother loved peonies, but they didn’t grow in Louisiana. She was so pleased when I planted mine back in 2005 or 2006, saying how much she loved their delicate scent.

Off the stern of the harbor cruise.

Wednesday, June 12 - Uncle Bill's Birthday

1) Today would have been Uncle Bill’s 94th birthday. I did not remember to observe it during his lifetime as much as I should have.

2) Bill was a talented amateur phoographer - what I would call an abstract photographer. So many of his compositions involved near microscopic details in pieces of slag glass or other unusual items. I remember he did some beautiful dune-like photos using a fake tortoiseshell box I’d given him one Christmas. I also remember, more rarely, some beautiful photos of dogwood blossoms from a tree in their yard. Those I remember encouraging him to frame specially as a triptych in a maple frame, but he always used those cheap black and gold frames from the dime store.

2a) We found ribbons he’d won in photography contests.

3) I have sometimes described alumni as people who “want to be at the party but don’t know how to be at the party,” and there were occasions where Bill fit that description, too. His contribution to family occasions was to dry the dishes, and Mother was always very grateful for his help.

4) When the movers arrived April 23, I was surprised that one drawer of the tallboy still had some things in it, including some things of Uncle Bill’s that were among his most treasured possessions. One of them is a baseball autographed by every member of the 1944 Ridgewood High School baseball team, of which Bill was the manager. He, like me, was no athlete, but he did what he was able to do for the good of the team. And I guess he had happy memories of that, because perhaps he wouldn’t have kept that baseball all his life if he hadn’t.

5) When you think about it, “He did what he was able to do for the good of the team” is a pretty good epitaph. Wish I’d thought of it earlier that this very moment.

Monday Morning, June 10

That period I thought would never get here is here: the period after Reunions. Now I should have to time to focus, and to think. Should. How am I going to manage it?

1) There are the prosaic, domestic things to take care of: getting the rugs sent out to clean, repairing my grandmother’s bed (badly assembled by the movers, the blessed thing won’t hold together; I’ve been sleeping in the study for a month or so), adding the running of the condo association into my monthly routine, and at last, organizing a blessed yard sale to offload my junk, so I can make room for all the family junk that’s just come up!

1a) Long term, renovating the kitchen begins to loom on the horizon . . .

2) There are the summer things: ferry and train tickets, cocktail meetups, cleaning up my back porch for impromptu gatherings, the planning of weekend excursions.

2a) Then there’s all the details of my summer vacation to flesh out and reconfirm: things to do and see over two days in London, trains to Kenilworth (where I’ll stay with friends for a week), and what on earth am I going to wear for a week on board the Queen Mary II?! Can I lose 20 pounds in six weeks?

3) Creatively I have to return to my Etiquetteer schedule (just got a question about the President’s white tie waistcoat, but it’s probably too late to write about it now), start preparing for next September’s talk at the Gibson House (“The Etiquette of the Brahmin Summer”), and lay a foundation under plans for new projects.

4) This morning’s reading from The Art of Worldly Wisdom helped me focus: “Take the measure of your luck: in order to act, and in order to commit yourself . . . If [Fortune] has favored you, proceed with boldness, for she often loves the daring and, like a dazzling woman, the young. If you are unlucky, act not. Withdraw and save yourself from failing twice. If you master her, you have taken a great step forward.”