Norma Desmond: “I want you to have a pearl, a big luscious pearl!”
Joe Gillis: “Well I’m not going to wear earrings, I can tell you that.”
— Sunset Boulevard
Dear Etiquetteer:
I’ve noticed recently that men have begun to wear jewelry that would traditionally be worn by women. I’ve especially noticed the use of pearls; a string of pearls that, perhaps, Jackie Kennedy wore in the day.
I’m having some difficulty weighing and gauging all of this. While I think a string of pearls is absolutely de rigueur, I’m unsure I could pull it off and, whether I could or not, I should even try.
I do have some jewelry that I’ve inherited from my mother, including a string of pearls as well as a diamond cocktail ring that must have made an appearance on Dynasty. I am immobilized with indecision. I’m unsure how to navigate the headwinds of all of this. How would you advise me on navigating this trend?
Dear Bejeweling:
It’s true, dandies of all ages and youths have been sporting Jewelry Otherwise Considered Feminine for awhile now. Elaborate brooches have blossomed on male lapels where one might properly see only one tiny lapel pin, if that. Jeweled stud earrings adorn both male earlobes. And choker-length pearls have become the momentary rage, mostly for younger men.
Pearls for gentlemen are not unheard of, but they have generally appeared as earrings (as in the Renaissance) and as shirt studs for very special occasions (as in the last century), not as necklaces. To Etiquetteer’s eyes some of these trendy pearl chokers look Frankly False. Everyone should remember the advice of Aunt Alycia in Gigi: “Wait for the first-class jewels, Gigi. Hold on to your ideals!” But many of them are the Real Deal. Even Tiffany is selling pearl chokers for men. The late Walter Hoving would never have allowed such a thing.
By all means experiment at home, and seek the advice of someone you trust who can look you over in person and say Yea or Nay. But remember that jewelry is supposed to call attention to the wearer, not itself. That means showing some restraint. Etiquetteer will never forget the story of the Busy Consultant rushing with self-importance into a board meeting to make a presentation in record time and decline to take questions in order to rush to another commitment. The board sat stunned until someone asked “Who was that man wearing six visible pieces of jewelry?” The content of the presentation was lost with laughter, along with the Busy Consultant’s reputation.
In that vein, as a general rule, never wear more than one pin in your lapel. Earlier this month at the Met Gala, Jeff Goldblum wore three Tiffany brooches in his lapel, including one of Schlumberger’s “Bird on a Rock” brooches. One would have been more elegant. That said, Etiquetteer has also seen dandies with a trio of small jeweled orchid brooches that’s presented an attractive, unified appearance.
Decades after his death, Cary Grant remains the epitome of Gentlemanly Perfect Propriety. Recently the menswear writer Charles Hix unearthed his 1973 interview with Grant, who said “There is an elegance for every age. You recognize it but can’t define it. There are all sorts of young men in Europe who are wearing embroidered coats and satin pants. They’re very elegant. But if I wore them, I’d look ridiculous.”
Know what suits you, and be honest with yourself when you look in the mirror. Your mother’s pearls may look great on you, but they might not. Though diamond rings for men are more permissible than before (Walter Hoving forbade them at Tiffany in his day), a large diamond ring on a man is the traditional mark of a vulgarian. Etiquetteer would encourage you to consider having it reset as a stickpin for a cravat or lapel.
Etiquetteer wishes you joy as you determine what jewelry suits you best, and Perfectly Proper parties to attend wearing them.