“Ladies first” is a general etiquette rule so old its origin seems lost in the mists of Time. “No cutting in line” probably came afterward, but not by much. What happens when these rules collide outside a public bus?
A crowd waiting to board a bus with no guides to mark an unmistakable line includes three people: a man who was one of the first to arrive, a woman who wants to get on board first, and another man who cares about chivalry. The crowd also includes a pack of about six Determined Older Women (DOWs) who are going to board the bus first so they can sit together; their body language, and the way they interfere to admit a straggling member of their party, indicates that a) they don’t care about the rules, and b) it would be unwise to mess with them. No one did.
The DOWs board, and now the brief drama of our three protagonists plays out. The first man is standing directly in front of the bus door. The woman tries to cut in from the right, but the man has moved forward enough that he is going to get onto the bus next. The second man, witnessing this, says “Ladies first!” in a loud enough voice. There are still quite a few people behind waiting to board themselves. So now we have a Situation Pregnant With Possibilities.
A brief exchange of glances between the first two characters sees the woman board and the first man follow her. Likely this was the quickest way to get everyone on the bus without Causing a Scene. No one would gain by responses like “If she was a lady she’d already be on the bus” or “I was here first,” don’t you agree?
But Etiquetteer finds fault with all our protagonists. Etiquetteer understands the burning desire to get on board any vehicle and claim a seat, but the woman in question should have waited her turn. The first man lacks a certain Generosity of Spirit and could have allowed that woman to cut in without inconveniencing himself greatly. The second man, of course, needs to learn how to mind his own business. It really is not Perfectly Proper to correct total strangers in public, except in extreme circumstances, which this was not. (Readers have offered some interesting insights and examples on Etiquetteer’s Facebook page.) Which rule do you think should take precedence, readers: Ladies First, or Don’t Cut?
Etiquetteer wishes you hassle-free transportation with Fellow Citizens Who Know Their Place.