Dear Etiquetteer:
I think people need education on wine etiquette. Lots of times when the sommelier pours the first sip into the glass, for the person to test to make sure the wine hasn’t gone off, I notice the person swirling the glass and sniffing it, etc., as if that is what they are supposed to do. Instead of just tasting it for signs of being corked, and then giving the nod to the sommelier. Anyway, I see that people often don’t know what to do when wine is poured.
Dear Oenophile:
It's easy to see why people carry on so: novelty. It might be very rare for them to order a bottle, and they get excited by the novelty (and possibly humor) of the occasion. When placed in an unfamiliar position, one grabs for the only examples one knows, which are often from movies and television — and so cannot be guaranteed to be Perfectly Proper. Etiquetteer salutes your altruism in wanting everyone to understand proper wine tasting. Etiquetteer suspects there's a subset of oenophiles out there who love seeing the mistakes of others because it reinforces their own superiority. Let's hope the vintage they choose this evening expands their hearts to a more compassionate dimension.
And what is Perfectly Proper? Much of what you describe is, in fact, the correct procedure. Let us say that there is a restaurant party of four, and that the host has ordered a bottle (or two) of wine to be served to everyone. The sommelier presents the bottle to the host, who confirms that the label on the bottle really is what was ordered. The sommelier uncorks the bottle and pours a tee-tiny bit into the host's glass. No less an authority than Letitia Baldrige* says that the host should sniff the bouquet, but any swirling of wine is done in the host's mouth, not in the wineglass. The host then approves without fanfare, and the sommelier pours wine into everyone's glasses. Etiquetteer usually just gives a brief nod and says "Yes, thank you."
What is the difference between what Baldrige describes and the behavior you've seen? It's how ostentatiously These People are doing it. It's a wine tasting, not dinner theatre! One does not sniff the bouquet audibly, swirl the glass wildly (or at all), engage in quizzical expressions, or swish the wine around as though it was mouthwash. Tasting the wine is only a small moment in a much more expansive and delightful party, and there's no point in prolonging it, any more than one wants to prolong crumbing the table. Let's just get it over with and continue with the conversation, shall we?
Etiquetteer wishes you a fine vintage and convivial company with whom to share it.
Dear Etiquetteer:
On behalf of my 89-year-old father . . . "Obviously handwritten personal notes are best for personal correspondence. But once a person can no longer hand write, what is the appropriate way to send text correspondence? A typed paper with a handwritten signature folded in a card? All typed text?"
Dear Corresponding:
The popularity and convenience of electronic communication has made handwritten correspondence a mark of personal attention and sincerity. "It must be important if it was handwritten!" The downside of this has been anxiety from those no longer able to write by hand, for whatever reason, who fear that their sincerity — indeed, their value as ladies and gentlemen — is now called into question. Perfect Propriety demands compassion for these correspondents. Their message is just as valuable regardless of the medium in which they send it.
Typed/printed correspondence, on stationery or note cards (whatever fits into your printer) is absolutely appropriate. If one is still able to sign one's name at the end, or even an initial, please do. Otherwise, why not adapt something vaguely recalled from old legal documents? When typing your letter, add "/s/" to the start of the signature line, to represent that your typed name following represents your signature? What could be more Perfectly Proper?
*Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette, 2003, page 486-87.