Even though Labor Day is licking at the heels of Etiquetteer's meticulous white bucks, it's not too late to say a few well-chosen words about Summer Clothes:
- Ladies always wear matching lingerie. This is doubly important when wearing a gauzy white sundress. And if you're wearing a gauzy white sundress and Etiquetteer can tell you have on a blue brassiere and navel-eclipsing white underpants, you're doing it wrong. Etiquetteer vigorously recommends a white slip!
- Nothing makes a lady look more like a slattern than a visible bra strap. For heaven's sake, either sew a loop into the straps of your dress into which to thread your bra strap or wear a strapless bra. And if you're wearing a "wife-beater" style tanktop, just go right back home and change. You're no lady.
- Black is slimming, but not if a) you have steatopygic buttocks, b) the black you have on is tights or stirrup pants, and c) you're wearing a crop top.
- If whatever you're wearing tells the world you haven't had a bikini wax lately, you're WAY underdressed.
Really, it's a pity more ladies don't take after the wardrobes of Charlotte Greenwood in Down Argentine Way (Travis Banton) or Barbara Stanwyck in Titanic (Dorothy Jeakins). But Etiquetteer can dream, can't he . . .
Etiquetteer welcomes all your queries on manners at queries_at_etiquetteer_dot_com.